Daily Dutch News 01/11/2013: Of Cyber-Totalitarianism and Exploding Duckies

Good news for private citizens all over the Netherlands, your privacy is only slightly being infringed upon! According to the Dutch Minister of Internal Affairs Plasterk the NSA only registers who has been calling whom, but it doesn’t record entire conversations. Well thank golly for that! Now we can all go back to being totally ignorant of our fundamental human rights to privacy! I mean – I’ve not got anything to hide have I? I can sleep easy tonight in the knowledge that my telephone conversations are not being monitored by the NSA. Never mind about the fact that my e-mails are screened, as are my search engine queries, my day to day movements are being registered by hundreds of CCTV cameras, oh and The Netherlands happens to be the European Champion in phone tapping. Check out the documentary Panopticon for more 1984 style fear mongering and we can all go home and sit quietly alone in the dark.

On the plus side, you can now have a lot of fun by starting all of your telephone conversations with a roaring “ALLUHA AKBAR!!! DEATH TO ALL INFIDELS!” before you switch to a matter-of-fact conversation about how your weekend was and how the kids are doing in school. (DISCLAIMER: DutchReview is not liable for you getting arrested, extradited to the US and spending the next months or years at the still very much not closed Guantanamo Bay). Also, we can totally ease your mind by distracting you with pictures of security cameras with cute little party hats.

"Ah, who's a cute little droid of totalitarianism? Yes you are, yes you are!!"
“NOTHING-TO-SEE-HERE. PLEASE-RETURN-TO-YOUR-MIND-NUMBING-MASS-CONSUMPTION.”

In other news, a Dutch newspaper had the audacity to post the following head-line on their website: “Giant Dutch Rubber Duck Explodes In Taiwan After Earthquake”. Following the earthquake last night that registered a 6.6 on the Richter scale, one sad ducky couldn’t take the pressure and exploded. That’s just… I mean… I don’t even… Oh, whatever, that thing was creeping me out anyway.

Giant Rubber Ducky
The latest weather forecast at Dutch review: tomorrow will be cloudy, with a light breeze and possibly some exploding giant rubber duckies later in the evening. (source: Flickr)

 

Anna Lambregts
Anna Lambregts
Contemporary politics, modern history, human rights, fashion, art and music are some of the subjects that can really get Anna Lambregts ranting. Being half Dutch and half Scottish and having grown up in the international community she hopes to inspire readers to broaden their horizons and raise awareness about issues she is passionate about.

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