James Bond forced to binge drink a case of Heineken!

In case you have been hiding out in a cave the last couple of months, the new and already widely praised James Bond movie Skyfall is to be released in the upcoming days. And in case you’ve living in this particular cave without satellite up-link, people are only shitting all over it because of product placement. Normally we would burn the cocaine-loving-American-bastards of Coca Cola to the ground, but in this instance it’s us Dutch people who are to blame. (and it’s not because of Adele’s Skyfall theme song, that’s just fine)

Apparently, a blasphemous situation has arisen. James Bond, not even a brunette anymore, is nowadays not ordering his usual Vodka Martini, but only beers. And just no ordinary beer, fuck no, he’s getting a Heineken. And since James was always the heavy drinker, he should be packing kegs in Skyfall. Now I know that the rest of the world thinks Heineken is the bomb (Don Drapers choice) , but here in Holland we pretty much think of it as an average, very average beer. What they do got right is their marketing scheme, I mean jesus, getting Bond to drink Heineken? You might as well rape and burn the queen of England!

 

Back in the days when men were men, and James Bond was the original- Sean Connery- deal.

So, these slime-balls of Heineken, who also just bought Tiger beer. Are they do everything right in their marketing schemes? Not entirely.

See now, we the Dutch have our share of famous criminals. One of them is Joram van der Sloot, and he’s safely tucked away in a cosy Latin American prison. The other one is Willem Holleeder. Holleeder made his fame by kidnapping Freddie Heineken, the man who gave his name to the Bond seducing beer, of course this abduction case got Holleeder famous and convicted. And nowadays Holleeder is our most cherished criminal, our own Tony Soprano. And only a few weeks ago he showed up on television and the programs ratings went through the roof!

So dear people, when your choking on this product placement in Skyfall, just think about Holleeder singlehandedly molesting Heineken’s carefully created corporate image.

(Oh, and enjoy the kick ass commercial they made for it!)

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