Ouch, that hurts! Seems as though Kevin Clash, aka the voice of Elmo, the beloved red furry who taught countless toddlers the world over the value of friendship, laughter, and proper addition, is once again under suspicion of – and I almost cannot bring myself to type these words – engaging in homosexual relationships with teenagers while using hard drugs and while the driver watched and stroked his own puppet if you catch my drift (most depressing link of your life can be found here, please don’t click on it). Dear Lord, please tell us we’ve been duped! Elmo, who has already been the subject of criticism from Sesame Street traditionalists (no really, that’s a thing!) for stealing the show from the rest of the Sesame Street gang, has now reached rock bottom as yet another man sues him for improper conduct (words that should never be needed when addressing a sock-puppet) when he was a teenager. Guess that makes us all silly for suspecting all along that Bert & Ernie were the gay ones in Sesame Street and that Cookie Monster was the addict, right? To make matters even more soul-crushingly awkward than they already were: Clash, despite having resigned by late 2012, will continue to provide the voice of Elmo for the next year, as the upcoming season has already been recorded. See, this is why you should never meet your heroes: in the least awful scenario, it’s an anti-climax, and other times… bleh.
But looking on the bright side: when Elmo gets out of Sesame Street Rehab, this is going to be one hell of a comeback story!