This €32 Amsterdam wine and cheese canal cruise is the classiest thing you’ll do all summer

Inside you there is a sophisticated, chic, tax-paying person just dying to come out. This summer you can reveal it to the world by embarking on an Amsterdam wine and cheese cruise — for only €32. 😮 

Imagine breezing past Amsterdam’s busiest tourist attractions without having to budge from the comfort of your boat.  — (And man, don’t those cushions look comfortable!). 

Now’s your chance to cradle a glass of French Syrah or Spanish Tempranillo, sniffing it twice the way you learned to at that one wine-tasting class.

Complete with a tour guide/skipper/hostess — whose brain you can pick for tips and little-known facts about Amsterdam — your boat will greet you at either the Anne Frank House or Central Station (depending on which is more convenient for you, because everything’s all about you on this trip). 

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Photo ops and bragging rights 

Want to convince that Tinder date you have your act together, pick an original venue for your book club, or just indulge in some well-deserved me-time? This canal cruise can be whatever you want it to be. 

Basically, it’s an hour of wine-and-cheese-fuelled bliss spent cruising through sites including Prinsengracht, Amsterdam’s Dancing Houses, the Red Light District, and The Skinny Bridge, where you’re meant to kiss the person beside you — it’s tradition, we don’t make the rules *cough*.

The canals you glide across will be the UNESCO Heritage listed Golden Age ones — only the best — for either a standard tour, retailing at €19.95, or a tour with bottomless cheese, beer, wine, or soda, if you tack on an extra €12. 

Just don’t blast music from a boombox

Do keep in mind though, this type of classy excursion isn’t catering to so-called “party people” (you know who you are). 

It’s for those among us with palates refined enough to detect subtle hints of melon in a Sauvignon Blanc. 🧐

…It’s also for those of us who want to feel like connoisseurs for one tasteful, wholesome hour, before happily venturing into a three-day bender when we hit the town afterwards. 

Are your commitment issues being triggered by the unpredictable weather? Don’t panic. 

You’re allowed a free, fully-refundable cancellation up to 24 hours in advance, should the rain decide to strike again.

(Although, who knows, maybe some light drizzling could be romantic 👉👈). 

Climb aboard, or delicately ascend, the deck to join in on the luxury. Make your reservations now ☝️.

Feature Image:Freepik
Ellen Ranebo
Ellen Ranebo
As someone half Swedish and half Irish who has lived in the Netherlands, the UK, and attended an American School, Ellen is a cocktail of various nationalities. Having had her fair share of bike accidents, near-death experiences involving canals, and miscommunications while living here (Swedish and Dutch have deceptively similar words with very different meanings), she hopes to have (and document) plenty more in future.

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