The Netherlands offers a fleeting sense of comfort, worldliness, absolutely zero stress and at times, dull predictability — everything opposite to the America I’ve known for years.
Moving to Amsterdam after a decade in New York City and Los Angeles has been more than just a change of scenery.
The language barrier is minimal; everyone speaks English. Learning Dutch, however, takes a “Please speak Dutch to me!” badge and relentless persistence.
READ MORE | 7 reasons why living in the Netherlands will change your life
But I’ll take it. Immigrating to the US took seven years of ESL, while my peers grumbled over their “burden” of choosing between Spanish, French, Mandarin, or Japanese — hardly a hardship.
School and early development
Academics have always been a point of departure between American and Dutch culture.
In the States, the average high school graduating class (ninth through twelfth grade) has consisted of over 700 students since the 1999 academic year — a number so staggering, most European students couldn’t, and shouldn’t, relate. 😳
READ MORE | The Dutch school system for dummies: a guide from one parent to another
American schools are farms, with elite colleges operating like corporations, boasting satellite offices in every major city — and London, of course.
New York University has campuses far beyond New York; the University of Southern California stretches well past Los Angeles; and the Ivy Leagues are more than their historically young campuses — though even those are “young” by European standards.
@lucierausch comment which of the two is more your vibe 💌📚!!
♬ son original – justanunknownstar
I once saw a commemorative staircase in America, deemed a national monument due to its erection around the 1890s.
Hardly a triumph for a country that hadn’t seen war on its soil for a century before this majestic hill-climber was installed — for reasons still unknown to me. 🕵️
Close-knit schooling
Growing up, I knew all 25 of my classmates, their siblings, parents, and after-school activities.
I knew what their parents did (or didn’t do), who was sick, and what family dynamics were at play. I could talk about them like they were first cousins, and you’d walk away thinking we were lifelong friends.
In a way, we are. I’d drop everything if I saw one of them. A new car was shared news, as were vacation plans, and weekend antics became Monday’s entertainment. We didn’t have social media (what a time).
I recall only knowing people who could construct full sentences. We maintained planners and kept our plans, even without four calls and a bible verse of text exchanges.
Later in life comes a stronger sense of self. Kids here ride bikes to school with friends, learning independence long before adulthood. 🚲
READ MORE | 4 reasons why Dutch kids are happier than American kids
It’s also a time when the average crowd includes early-twenties guys fishing in shallow ponds and women who introduced you to rejection, toughening you up in the process. 💪
Where does that toughness come from? Maybe from early exposure to lives and realities different from your own.
The land of the free
America is all about achievement and working harder than the rest, often mistaking activity for accomplishment. In contrast, the Dutch seek to find a balance between quality of life and quality of work.
If you succeed, you’ll make more money in America, but work more and have less intangible value. 💸
In the Netherlands, you’ll live smaller, have less material wealth, but a full work week supposedly won’t surpass 40 hours, and the idea of a second job is far from normal.
At this point in my life, the only people I know who have a single job make more than 150K a year and have very little to talk about outside their income or what happened in the 10 hours they were at the office today — with a few exceptions, as there always are.
Consequently, their place of employment becomes the halls of their high school, and the friends who don’t work there become memories to glorify between beers.
Connection to place
The United States has a lot to offer, most of which was there before anyone set sail, and some remains untouched. The American friends I have and keep, who forgive my massive European bias, all have very specific relationships with the places they love.
READ MORE | Translation problems: things Americans new in the Netherlands may not understand
One, from Montana, absolutely loves where she’s from, and I must admit I’ve always been smitten by it, as my mild nationalism sings a similar tune.
Another loves the service he provides to a nation that has ultimately given him a purpose in a capacity he’d never felt. A third finds tremendous freedom in the idea of freedom and its daily struggles.
Some balance, perhaps
I’ve always seen Europe as the place where you grow up and raise your family, but America is the football pitch where you go to play the economic game of life.
A place where you get tackled, rise to prove yourself, and work tirelessly until you’re high enough to look down. Then you sub out, head home, and hope your impact is remembered.
To most who drank the elixir of the rat race, the field feels like a never-ending track that has fixed outcomes, and horses on steroids are only sold to some.
But it makes you feel alive and active in a way no other can, but you must always be at your best, and on your A-game.
Testing yourself against these stratospheric standards truly leaves one wanting when faced with a more relaxed Dutch narrative. One with an hour of work before the first coffee break, a question about price before quality, and less risk-taking.
Both worlds have their charm in contrast, but neither shines without the other to highlight its blessings. We need both. After all, a vacation only feels like one if there’s a job to return to — otherwise, you’re simply floating, which might just be the good life.
What is your experience with these two countries? Let us know in the comments! 💬
I went to the Us in 1993, at age 36. I worked and lived in both Ohio and California. Had to struggle with lots of cultural differences, compounded when I married my American husband, at age 38.
I heard myself saying: this would never happen in the Netherlands. Or: we do this different in the Netherlands. Then, in 2012, I went back to the Netherlands to live and work there till last year. In those years there were many eye openers for me: so much had changed in the Netherlands of now.
But it helped me to put things in perspective and now I live in Texas and don’t feel the need to compare anymore.
But for the sake of this article, I have to offer: the Dutch might be at the working place less hours, but “we”are still more productive. The Dutch like to organize their work and explore different ideas. However, “ we” often take new ideas, especially coming from the US , as gospel and work on implementation a long while, till it works. In the US there is a new flavor of the week so often, that implementation hardly happens.
I was surprised about the strong Dutch national feelings( admitting you like Dutch songs and going to concerts, not in my time) so that makes it balanced with the US. However “ we” still have more knowledge about geography etc, while, till today, I have to answer where my slight accents is from and get confronted with German greetings, Gaelic “hello’s or the Netherlands is placed in Scandinavia.
In that same vain I encountered the school systems differences. I studied year round for my Master’s and had only 6 weeks off in summer. Here they count semesters with short hours( not even 60 minutes) and in comparison, according to the US school system, I had not had enough time studied for my MBA.
But all in all, the differences are becoming smaller and the Netherlands is becoming Anglofied and has copied much of the US behavior/ processes. Not always for the better. Time will learn. I live happily as a Dutchie in Texas, with my American- Jewish raised husband and we have found a nice balance. So I don’t talk about us and we and them anymore( too confusing?)
Karen I do share your sentiments.
But I cannot be negative about living in the Netherlands nor in the US. I have lived in Arizona since 1982 and the writer should understand that there are differences between living in California, New York and other States in the US. The same also applies to living in the Netherlands. North and South Holland are very different from living in the other Provinces of the Netherlands. I moved to Arizona in the early 80s. and I have been back to the Netherlands many times to visit Relatives and Friends. At times I do miss the Dutch style of living, but so do I miss the American conveniences when I am in the Netherlands.
I lived in the Phoenix Area and in Prescott Valley.There even is a difference between those locations in Arizona. I get it that people detest that both partners in a relationship need to work. But do they really have to. No not really. The situation in the US has provided females to be very independent and proud of what they could contribute to society. Of course that does not apply to everyone, but people have the freedom to make choices. We are in charge of our choices and that applies to people in the Netherlands as well.
I always wonder what it would have been like if I would have stayed in the Netherlands. Oh I realize that I have missed out on quite a few things by moving to Arizona, but I may not have forgone on some of the opportunities that were presented to me in the US. To me it is not a matter of black and white but rather of optimizing the opportunities we are given, regardless of where we live. And YES, it is also a matter of accepting missing out on the GOOD the other place may have given you.
I still live with the question: “What If”. It simply is a question I will never know the answer of.
And that is OK, and I still love the Netherlands and Arizona. It is something no one or nothing can take away from me, even an article that highlights negatives about living in the US.
I hear you Roy! I agree and having come home this last week from a 4 week immersion in the Netherlands, I say:” I am blessed to have a home in both countries- and that is good”!
After moving to the US 43 years ago at age 23, home is still The Netherlands for me. In my opinion the US is a beautiful place for a vacation (not for a US resident, since paid time-off is limited when employed).
I could write a book!! All i can say, after 50 odd years back and forth, is that QUALITY OF LIFE is so so much better in the Netherlands!