One minute you’re clutching your chest in agony, the next you’re drinking tea and popping a paracetamol just like the doctor ordered. We’ll never get over classic Dutch healthcare tales.
Content creator Matheus Santana recently asked his Instagram followers for the wildest things Dutch doctors have told them — and the replies did not disappoint.
So grab your popcorn — or should we say, paracetamol — we’ve rounded up the funniest, weirdest, and downright unbelievable experiences. 👇
Healed by humming
Got real pain? Dutch docs might skip the tests and offer a playlist instead.
User kikopeidro shared: “I had a lot of pain from an internal sebaceous cyst, and I was recommended meditation.”
READ MORE: The ultimate guide to going to the doctor in the Netherlands in 2025
Similarly, user lmvds was told to try “walking around and singing a song” for chest pain and shortness of breath.
Because nothing says medical expertise like chanting the pain away. 🧘
Insomnia is a myth
Struggling to sleep? Dutch doctors say: fake it till you make it.
It seems many users have received the simplest of advice when it comes to sleepless nights: dxlly.e was told “you have to close your eyes”, and h.evelyn_ recalls, “Me: Can’t sleep, have insomnia. GP: Try smoking and close your eyes”.
That’s the first time we’ve heard a huisarts recommend nicotine. 🚬
Symptom? What symptom?
Turns out Dutch GPs have a talent for casually gaslighting your symptoms into oblivion. 👀
User tintiniee’s doctor said straight up: “That PCOS is not real & it’s just in my head.”
READ MORE | How to register with a doctor in the Netherlands
So if chronic illness is in our imaginations now, should we stop pretending? Mayara.ldm discovered how:
“I had been coughing for many days, and the doctor said that in order to stop coughing, I had to force myself not to cough. I was so shocked that the doctor told me: ‘Yes, it sounds stupid, but to stop coughing, you need to stop coughing.’”
Doctors who consult the oracle… or Google
Yes, your doctor did 8+ years of medical school — and yet, they’re googling your symptoms just like you did at 2 AM last night. 😅
The doctors tending to mibracomila and carolccrr3 summed up this reality: “Let me check on Internet”, “They checked what I had in google”.
Comforting, right? Just you, your symptoms, and your GP’s search history.
“Ok… how is this my problem?”
There’s a theme among the responses, where doctors seemed personally offended that patients dared show up.
Perhaps these three examples showcase just how dismissive some doctors can be:
- “I am passed out last night. GP: Ok and? What do you want me to do.” — dimas.img.
- “It came naturally, let’s hope it goes away by itself” — ilona_stegeman.
- “Don’t know what it is, but I prescribed a product. Put it on it, maybe it helps.” — samanthaamendt.
There’s no coming back from those gems…
Medical miracles do happen
Given the rollercoaster of medical advice out there, you can understand the shock on occasions when Dutch healthcare DOES deliver:
User konyaniws shared, “They… actually gave me real meds and… a blood test. I nearly fainted.”
Walk in expecting paracetamol and vibes, but walk out with real diagnostics? Floored. 😵
Have your own wild Dutch doctor moment? Drop it in the comments — we need more chaotic healing energy. 🩺💬