Dutch pick-up lines and compliments: the complete 2024 guide

Holland is famous for being cheesy, after all... 🧀

A good love life in the Netherlands also requires some high-quality Dutch pick-up lines.

So let us be your wingman (kinda) by teaching you some of the best ways to flirt in the lowlands. As there is only one way the Dutch way!

(Though we’d argue that almost any other cultures do it better than the Nederlanders.)

Pick-up lines in the Netherlands

The courtship process can be very complicated. If you aren’t knowledgeable in the art of seduction, this might result in a dry evening, week or even months without finding the right partner.

In the Netherlands, the process is made even more complicated because the Dutch directness can easily get in the way of romance.

But stress less: we’re here to help you navigate the world of Dutch dating by selecting the 3 Cs of Dutch pick-up lines: cheesy, cheeky and creepy! 

Cheesy Dutch pick-up lines

As with any other language, Dutch idiots also have a vast array of ready-to-use pickup lines. We’d advise you not to use them (ever), but at least now you’ll know if you should ever fall victim to this kind of blasphemy.

Caution: only use these cheesy Dutch pick-up lines if you absolutely want to have no game at all! Slaps and flip-offs might be amongst unwanted side effects.

  • Kan ik een kus lenen? Ik zal beloven hem terug te geven. Can I borrow a kiss? I promise to give it back.
  • Ik ben een dief, en ik ben hier om je hart te stelen. I’m a thief, and I’m here to steal your heart.
  • Hoe voelt het om het mooiste meisje in de kamer te zijn? How does it feel to be the most beautiful girl in the room?
  • Geloof je in liefde op het eerste gezicht? Of moet ik weer voorbij lopen? Do you believe in love at first sight? Or should I walk by you again?
  • Heb je een kaart? Ik ben de weg kwijt in je ogen. Do you have a map? I’m lost in your eyes.
  • Bent u een camera? Want elke keer als ik naar je kijk, lach ik. Are you a camera? Because every time I look at you, I smile.
  • Excuseer me, ik ben mijn telefoonnummer kwijt. Kan ik die van jou lenen? Excuse Me, I’ve lost my phone number. Can I borrow yours?
  • Ben je vandaag gearresteerd? Het moet illegaal zijn om er zo mooi uit te zien. Were you arrested today? It must be illegal to look so beautiful.
  • Nee, in werkelijkheid ben ik niet zo lang, ik zit op dit moment op mijn portemonnee. No, in reality I’m not that tall, I’m currently sitting on my wallet.
  • Uw glimlach verlicht de kamer, dus ik moest komen. Your smile lit up the room so I had to come over.

Cheeky Dutch pick-up lines

If it ever happens that you’re approached by a specimen of the Dutch douchious bagious and your ears suddenly start bleeding, then you’ve most likely heard this atrocity of a pick-up line.

Just be aware that this species doesn’t react well to rejection, so you might want to let them down easily (despite the uncontrollable urge to punch them).

  • Ik heb geen openingszin, maar jij hebt een opening en ik heb zin. I don’t have a whole lot of pick up lines, but you’ve got a hole, and I want in. (Ew, ew, ew! 🤮)
Shhhh…keep your calm. (But also, this goes out to anyone who has ever used this Dutch pick-up line.) Image: Depositphotos

Creepy Dutch pick-up lines

Now, if you ever hear any of these pick-up lines just call the police straight away. The person saying these might possibly be a serial killer or a kidnapper. 🏃‍♀️

Ok, we might be over-exaggerating, but it is a crime itself to use such terrible pick-up lines. Truly.

  • Als ik je zou volgen tot aan je huis… zou je me dan houden? If I followed you up to your house … would you keep me?
  • Mag ik je iets vragen, jongedame, ga je ook met onbekenden naar bed? Nee? Laat ik mezelf dan even voorstellen. Can I ask you something, young lady, are you going to bed with strangers? No? Let me introduce myself then.
  • Ik heb mijn teddybeer verloren, wil jij mee naar bed? I lost my teddybear. Will you go to bed with me?

Dutch date phrases

Now this part is very important because if you’ve actually managed to score a date, that means our Dutch pick-up lines have actually worked (not that we ever doubted ourselves).

This could be you! (If you ignore all the other pick-up lines on this list and just go with the dating phrases.) Image: Depositphotos

However, this also means that you have done something right, and this is probably your best chance to seal the deal. Do not screw it up!

Here are a few Dutch date phrases that will help you make a good long-lasting impression.

  • Ik kan niet geloven dat je ‘naam’ heet, mijn hond/cat heette ook ‘naam’. I can’t believe your called ‘name’, my cat/dog was also called ‘name’.
  • Ik heb altijd al gehouden van luipaardprint en gescheurde spijkerbroeken. I always loved leopard print and torn up jeans.
  • Ik betaal de rekening wel, maakt niet uit joh. I’ll pay the bill, don’t sweat it (if that doesn’t seal the deal with a Dutchie then please mail us at [email protected])

Dutch pick-up lines: it’s all about the confidence

The most important thing about Dutch pick-up lines is saying them with confidence. Do not stutter or mumble like a foreign loser! Go up to that eye candy and confidently pick them up (figuratively) in Dutch.

And if your accent was absolutely terrible, best case scenario, you’ll make your object of desire laugh. And that is still a good thing, right? So you’re welcome! So that makes it official DutchReview is the best wingman in the Netherlands.

Are there any other Dutch pick-up lines that you know of? Let us know in the comments below!

Feature Image:Depositphotos
Emma Brown
Emma Brown
A familiar face at DutchRevew. Emma arrived in Holland in 2016 for a few weeks, fell in love with the place and never left. Here she rekindled her love of writing and travelling. Now you'll find her eating stroopwafels in the DutchReview office since 2017.

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