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5 Dutch idioms that are just too bizarre when translated

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The Dutch language is notorious for being difficult to understand. From all those guttural dips to the stretching oouu noises, youโ€™re really challenged from the get-go. However, if that wasnโ€™t enough, there are idioms. So. Many. Bizarre. Idioms. 

The key to understanding Dutch idioms is to remember that Google Translate is certainly not your friend. Letโ€™s start off light, shall we? 

1. Muggenziften en mierenneuken  

Ah yes, this one is a real charmer. โ€œMuggenziften en mierenneukenโ€ directly translates to sifting mosquitos and โ€” ahem โ€” โ€œcanoodling withโ€ ants. What on earth does this imply you may be wondering?ย 

Easy. If youโ€™re sifting mosquitos and BLEEP-ing ants, youโ€™re not only looking at the minute things in life, youโ€™re going to the trouble of fiddling with them. Essentially, it means youโ€™re sweating the small stuff and itโ€™s time to chill โ€” stay away from the ants you gekkie.

2. Het zit wel snor

In fact, if someone is looking to comfort you and remind you to swallow that chill pill, they may say โ€œhet zit wel snorโ€ meaning โ€” yโ€™know, you probably guessed โ€” โ€œit sits like a moustache.โ€ Capiche?

No? WHY NOT? Ok no we get it, there is nothing to be inferred from a well-placed moustache. This idiom has a simple meaning โ€” โ€œitโ€™s ok.โ€ Donโ€™t you worry about a thing hun, forget the ants and mosquitos, alles is goed. 

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3. Wie zijn billen brandt, moet op de blaren zitten

That being said, sometimes the metaphorical moustache just isnโ€™t sitting well, you look homeless and โ€” ok enough of trying to make our own idioms. Sometimes, poep happens. You mess up, and you have to deal with the consequences. 

People will tell you that โ€œwie zijn billen brandt, moet op de blaren zittenโ€ meaning โ€œif you burn your ass, you need to sit on the blistersโ€ โ€” owie. Graphic imagery aside, the blisters are your consequences, and sometimes you need to pick up that mirror, drop your pants, and face them. 

4. Weten waar Abraham de mosterd haalt

Now this one is echt bizar. If youโ€™re a real smart cookie, or just a bit of a bragger, you may say that you โ€œweten waar Abraham de mosterd haaltโ€ or in English, that you โ€œknow where Abraham keeps the mustard.โ€ย 

Ummm, translation service please? Listen, we donโ€™t know who Abraham is, or why someone would ever care where the mustard is (donโ€™t come for us but Abraham can keep it.) Ultimately, this is somehow meant to infer that you know what youโ€™re talking about. 

5. Het regent pijpenstelen

โ€œItโ€™s raining tobacco pipe stemsโ€?! More like itโ€™s raining completely gek Dutch phrases.

Imagine the soothing sound of laying in bed at night, being gently lulled off to sleep by the relaxing sound of…tobacco pipes crashing down on the roof above your head? Dames en heren introducing โ€œitโ€™s raining tobacco pipe stemsโ€. Of course, this saying really does make sense โ€” itโ€™s used when itโ€™s raining really, truly ridiculously hard (which in the Netherlands is, um, always).ย 

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But we have one question Dutchies โ€” why tobacco pipes? Who sat listening to the rain one night in 17th century Netherlands and thought โ€œYep, that looks exactly as if thousands of tobacco pipes fell out of the sky!โ€ Itโ€™s probably not what we would have compared it to, but Dutchies do what Dutchies do, we guess.ย 

READ MORE | How to learn Dutch: the ultimate guide (by people who learned!)


Enough idioms is enough, otherwise, weโ€™ll need to get ourselves a whole in-house translation agency to make our way through these super-strange but super-Dutch idioms! 

Which of these bizarre Dutch idioms tickled your fancy? (๐Ÿ‘ˆ  Hey, an English idiom!) Tell us your favourites in the comments below!

Feature Image: gpointstudio/Depositphotos

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Sarah O'Leary ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ช
Sarah O'Leary ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ช
Before becoming the Senior Editor of DutchReview, Sarah was a fresh-faced international looking to learn more about the Netherlands. Since moving here in 2017, Sarah has added a BA in English and Philosophy (Hons.), an MA in Literature (Hons.), and over three years of writing experience at DutchReview to her skillset. When Sarah isn't acting as a safety threat to herself and others (cycling), you can find her trying to sound witty while writing about some of the stickier topics such as mortgages and Dutch law.

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4 COMMENTS

  1. It sounds vaguely reminiscent of a regional English idiom; “it’s raining stair rods” which is, for the older generation anyway, fairly self explanatory.

  2. What would adutchie think if you wereto tell them “it is raining cats and dogs”

    A Canadian idiom?

  3. It’s not bizaare it’s bizar in Dutch

    ” Het regent pijpestelen” is from the look of heavy rain, not the sound.

    Old tobacco pipes had very long stems

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