The Dutch language is notorious for being difficult to understand. From all those guttural dips to the stretching oouu noises, youโre really challenged from the get-go. However, if that wasnโt enough, there are idioms. So. Many. Bizarre. Idioms.
The key to understanding Dutch idioms is to remember that Google Translate is certainly not your friend. Letโs start off light, shall we?
1. Muggenziften en mierenneuken
Ah yes, this one is a real charmer. โMuggenziften en mierenneukenโ directly translates to sifting mosquitos and โ ahem โ โcanoodling withโ ants. What on earth does this imply you may be wondering?ย
Easy. If youโre sifting mosquitos and BLEEP-ing ants, youโre not only looking at the minute things in life, youโre going to the trouble of fiddling with them. Essentially, it means youโre sweating the small stuff and itโs time to chill โ stay away from the ants you gekkie.
2. Het zit wel snor
In fact, if someone is looking to comfort you and remind you to swallow that chill pill, they may say โhet zit wel snorโ meaning โ yโknow, you probably guessed โ โit sits like a moustache.โ Capiche?
No? WHY NOT? Ok no we get it, there is nothing to be inferred from a well-placed moustache. This idiom has a simple meaning โ โitโs ok.โ Donโt you worry about a thing hun, forget the ants and mosquitos, alles is goed.
3. Wie zijn billen brandt, moet op de blaren zitten
That being said, sometimes the metaphorical moustache just isnโt sitting well, you look homeless and โ ok enough of trying to make our own idioms. Sometimes, poep happens. You mess up, and you have to deal with the consequences.
People will tell you that โwie zijn billen brandt, moet op de blaren zittenโ meaning โif you burn your ass, you need to sit on the blistersโ โ owie. Graphic imagery aside, the blisters are your consequences, and sometimes you need to pick up that mirror, drop your pants, and face them.
4. Weten waar Abraham de mosterd haalt
Now this one is echt bizar. If youโre a real smart cookie, or just a bit of a bragger, you may say that you โweten waar Abraham de mosterd haaltโ or in English, that you โknow where Abraham keeps the mustard.โย
Ummm, translation service please? Listen, we donโt know who Abraham is, or why someone would ever care where the mustard is (donโt come for us but Abraham can keep it.) Ultimately, this is somehow meant to infer that you know what youโre talking about.
5. Het regent pijpenstelen
โItโs raining tobacco pipe stemsโ?! More like itโs raining completely gek Dutch phrases.
Imagine the soothing sound of laying in bed at night, being gently lulled off to sleep by the relaxing sound of…tobacco pipes crashing down on the roof above your head? Dames en heren introducing โitโs raining tobacco pipe stemsโ. Of course, this saying really does make sense โ itโs used when itโs raining really, truly ridiculously hard (which in the Netherlands is, um, always).ย
But we have one question Dutchies โ why tobacco pipes? Who sat listening to the rain one night in 17th century Netherlands and thought โYep, that looks exactly as if thousands of tobacco pipes fell out of the sky!โ Itโs probably not what we would have compared it to, but Dutchies do what Dutchies do, we guess.ย
READ MORE | How to learn Dutch: the ultimate guide (by people who learned!)
Enough idioms is enough, otherwise, weโll need to get ourselves a whole in-house translation agency to make our way through these super-strange but super-Dutch idioms!
Which of these bizarre Dutch idioms tickled your fancy? (๐ Hey, an English idiom!) Tell us your favourites in the comments below!
Feature Image: gpointstudio/Depositphotos
It sounds vaguely reminiscent of a regional English idiom; “it’s raining stair rods” which is, for the older generation anyway, fairly self explanatory.
What would adutchie think if you wereto tell them “it is raining cats and dogs”
A Canadian idiom?
It’s not bizaare it’s bizar in Dutch
” Het regent pijpestelen” is from the look of heavy rain, not the sound.
Old tobacco pipes had very long stems
Thank you, Hilde! As international writers, we sometimes struggle with our Dutch. We’ve updated the articles now.