When I left Italy for the Netherlands, I packed my belongings (Parmesan and pesto included) and one big assumption: that the culture shock would be minimal.
After all, I was just moving a two-hour flight away. How different could Italian and Dutch people really be?
Very, it turns out. In at least nine ways.
1. Italians eat a minimum of two “warm meals” per day
What the Dutch mean by a “warm meal” has little to do with temperature, and more to do with the amount of food that is consumed, and the effort dedicated to the consumption ritual.
In their kaasbroodje-powered minds, one “warm” meal per day is enough. So, they push through one sad, small sandwich at a time until about 5:30 PM, when they finally allow their famished selves a proper meal.
READ MORE | Sandwich society: A guide to lunch in the Netherlands
For Italians, having a one-hour, sitting down, tablecloth-fork-and-knife lunchbreak is a birthright.
Also, we think that 6 PM dinners should be outlawed, and teeth-owning folks should be forbidden from eating mashed food.
READ MORE | Dutch Quirk #38: Mush all of their dinner food (prakken)
The concept of only having one full meal per day is not only offensive to our stomachs, but also to our agendas: all of our plans revolve around food.
In Italy, things don’t happen in the early or late afternoon, they happen “after lunch” or “before dinner”.
I know, that’s hard to understand when the event that’s meant to split your day into a “before” and “after” consists of just shotting down half a mug of mushroom soup at your desk. 🤦♀️
2. Dutchies make plans in advance — only to often cancel them
Dutch people are all cool and spontaan (spontaneous) until you hit them with a vague, last-minute invitation. What time is “after dinner”? Pure paniek.
For the Dutch, the correct way of making plans is sending a DatumPrikker link at least one month in advance so that everyone can fill in their availability — very efficient.
@martagrena Dutch and Italians hate each other for this, and I like to think we’re Romeo and Juliet 🥲 #greenscreen #cultureshock #abroad #italians #dutch #netherlands #couple #estero #culture #fyp #fy #foryou #italy #holland #travel #boyfriend #bf #gf #girlfriend ♬ Whistle stop and move by wuki – wüki
Except, having so much time to think actually results in way more cancellations.
Italians don’t plan anything months ahead. Maybe medical appointments and weddings, but the list ends there. When they do make a plan, they consider it official, with no need for further communication.
READ NEXT | The Dutch and time: how their language shows they are planning maniacs
Dutchies, on the other hand, need reassurance. If you don’t double-check with them, chances are that they will assume the plan is off and fill that 37-minute time slot with another activity.
At least they will show up for it on time, though. Yes, that chill you’re feeling is from the shade I’ve just thrown at you, amici. 👀
3. Italians are physically compelled to enter every church
Trust me when I tell you that all Italians abroad “grew up Catholic but not really practicing”…until they spot a church. They simply have to go in.
No, silly, not to pray! To sightsee.
Dutch people don’t understand the Italian urge to enter churches for touristic purposes. They either enter a church for religious reasons, because it’s now a swimming pool (yes, that happens), or not at all.
Meanwhile, Italians are used to treating churches as free art museums at best and free indoor seating at worst. Regardless, they will always check them out.
Helaas, the Catholic opulence they are anticipating is rarely found in this Calvinist land.
4. Dutchies are very quiet on public transport — before midnight
Dutchies take their stilte (silence) areas on trains very seriously, and will guard them fiercely by staring down whoever dares open their mouth.
Italians, on the other hand, see every commute as a chance for yapping and are not easily discouraged by a sign.
@dutchworld_americangirl Don’t talk if you see an S. #silentcabin #silence #NS #EUROPE #netherlands #iowagirl @dutchworld_americangirl ♬ Monkeys Spinning Monkeys – Kevin MacLeod & Kevin The Monkey
After all, are you even Italian if you don’t call mamma from the train?
However, something strange happens to the Dutchies who find themselves on trains after midnight.
No, they don’t grow fangs and start howling at the NS monitor. It’s much more sinister.
They grow huge lungs capable of singing traditional songs for hours on end, loud enough to wake their ancestors from their farmer’s sleep.
5. Italians insist on drinking outdoors — and the politie hates it
Italians prefer drinking outside but don’t picture the Dutch terrasjes, with their neat little designated spaces on the curb.
Think of a random public surface, like the middle of a square, with ten people plopped down on the ground. Or church steps, providing the perfect people-watching angle on said square.
In this country, however, that simple pleasure is denied. Does it stop us? No. 😎 But does it result in us pathetically apologising to the politie like they’re our parents? Sì. 😞
6. Dutchies call professors by their first name
In the Netherlands, most administrative correspondence does end in the passive-aggressive “I trust to have informed you sufficiently”. People-to-people exchanges, however, are mostly pleasant, even between students and professors.
Meanwhile, in Italy, the perfect student email entails a 90% honorific titles to 10% actual content ratio. All for the Dear, Distinguished, Esteemed dude in question to reply “ok”.
READ NEXT | Dutch Quirk #22: Give everyone three kisses to say hello
You can imagine our discomfort when a Dutch professor asks us to call them by their first name or replies in a friendly and timely manner. What do you mean I should “enjoy my weekend”?
The Catholic guilt is real.
7. Dutchies think beer is perfect for every occasion
Italians have a different go-to drink for each setting. Is it an afternoon hang-out? Espresso. An aperitivo? Aperol spritz. A night out? Mixed drinks it is.
Dutchies, however, only have one mode: biertje mode.
Even while clubbing, buying 13 tiny Heinekens will somehow seem like a wiser investment than buying two gin and tonics to them. Call it Dutch math!
8. Italians will go to the ER for every small health scare
Complicated insurance policies and an obscenely long waiting list can often discourage Dutch people from seeking a professional opinion on their health scares.
Add to that the Dutch doctors’ infamous habit of dismissing their patients’ symptoms, and people will often just decide to save themselves a trip, pop a paracetamol pill and hope for the best.
Italians, however, are built different. Less robustly, you’d guess, judging by our number of visits to the ER — but also more stubborn.
READ NEXT | I had a good experience with the Dutch healthcare system, am I the only one?
We are so used to all public services being infested by bureaucracy and plagued by underfunding that we simply…go anyway. For every. Tiny. Symptom.
We are not phased by a seven-hour wait on a plastic chair. In fact, it is almost cathartic to us. It’s a ritual, a tradition. A national pastime.
So yes, dear GGD (Municipal health service) automatic voice, we will hold. We’ll out-sing your elevator music if it comes to that. 📞
9. Italians are made of sugar
Dutch people can go surfing in January, cycle home still dripping, and live to tell the story. Good for them.
READ MORE | Dutch Quirk #117: Constantly check Buienradar
Italians, however, like to be dry in public.
Hair dryers are our best friends. No matter the temperature, we will blow-dry our hair, lest we catch the infamous “colpo d’aria” (air blow) — the culprit of all Italian ailments.
We also carry an umbrella everywhere, and we’re not ashamed of opening it after (1) drop of rain.
However, there is something faster than an Italian’s movement to whip out their umbrella: the Dutch passersby’s urge to comment “je bent niet van suiker gemaakt”, you are not made of sugar.
What if I am, Joost? Will you make me warm milk and tuck me in when I catch a fatal cold? Will you, though? Please, I’m lonely. 🥺
These were just nine differences between Dutchies and Italians that I’ve noticed so far. Are there more? Natuurlijk. Are there enough to put us off interacting with each other? Never. 🥰
After all, if there is one thing Dutch and Italian people have in common, it’s that we never miss out on a chance to complain.
Deep down, we love bickering over these tiny cultural clashes, especially in front of a good Prosecco. Or beer? 😉
What other differences between Italian and Dutch culture can you think of? Tell us all about it in the comments below.
Ok, but I cannot disagree more with “Dutch taking silent coach seriously” thing. OMG this people are loud. They shout in a public and sorry not sorry, this language is not as melodic as Italian 😀 silent coach – literally half of the coach where you suppose to respect other people – well apparently this is the perfect place to have a call. ON A SPEAKER.