How likely are people in the Netherlands to serve food to their guests? This simple map took Twitter by storm, and people. are. not. happy.
From friendly competition in Eurovision, to some of the worst wars in the history of humanity — Europe is a continent well-known for its rivalry.
So of course the Internet blew up after an amateur historian tried explaining European hospitality norms!
The map of truth
The map, accompanied by a long-ass thread of semi-well-informed historical analysis of hospitality norms, supposedly shows that northern Europeans are wayy less likely to offer their guests food than southerners.
This is blowing people’s minds, so as an amateur historian and sociologist I’m going to try to explain this development/ cultural artifact. pic.twitter.com/vNF0MMpMFK
— Incompetent Beneficiary of Nepotism (@WallySierk) May 29, 2022
The scale, going from “almost always” to “very unlikely” has offended many a Scandinavian, shocked many an Italian, and provoked many a historian.
The Netherlands is steadily grounded on the “very unlikely” end of the scale, and lots of Tweeters recognised the trend:
My brother in law is Dutch and he asks people to pay for their food when they eat at his house. It’s fucking WILD.
— dumpsterfire (@riffraffrumblin) May 30, 2022
It is so common in the Netherlands to send your child’s playdate to the playroom, while the family’s having a meal. I am glad I attended an international school with children with Turkish, Moroccan, Yoguslavian and Asian roots. We have never experienced those issues there!
— Tim (@Timmiej1) May 28, 2022
Some even offering their own interpretations of the weird behaviour, suggesting that the inhospitable Dutch habits stem from their obsession with being efficient and organised:
Also, culture difference. The Dutch and Germans are about efficiency and planning. Arriving unannounced might mess up our plans which is seen as rude here because you insert yourself in another persons time without consent. Nonetheless we change plans and are hospitable.
— Leeroypon (@LeeroyPon) May 30, 2022
That being said, there’s enough people disagreeing too:
It’s the same here in the Netherlands😂 My best friend back then had dinner with their family but still expected me to hang out with her till 10pm after. Girl just let me leave so I can go buy some food for myself somewhere bc 😭
— 𝔦𝔰𝔫’𝔱 𝔦𝔱 𝔟𝔢𝔞𝔲𝔱𝔦𝔣𝔲𝔩 (@wingsofagoddes) May 28, 2022
From hospitality to violence, and other interesting ideas
Look, I’m from Norway, and I’ve been living in the Netherlands for almost three years now, I know the map is at least a little bit true.
Not here to judge but I don’t understand this. How’re you going to eat without inviting your friend? pic.twitter.com/bFEgoLiuDB
— Seeker (@SamQari) May 26, 2022
I can’t even count the amount of times I’ve visited a Dutchie (or a Norwegian for that matter), and seen them slap their thighs with that characteristic “*sigh* well…”, before standing up and indirectly ushering me out of the door.
It typically happens sometime between 16:30 and 18:30 — the Dutch like to eat early.
READ MORE | This expat’s TikToks about weird Dutch habits went viral (because they’re relatable AF!)
But why? Isn’t it just nice and gezellig to eat together with your guests?
Well, first of all, not always. Northerners are very private people. Second of all, there miiiight be a historical reason explaining the behaviour.
According to the amateur historian on Twitter, people from Northern Germanic cultures (used to) consider serving someone food a sign of superiority, or in other words; if you’re being served food, you’re indebted to whoever serves you.
Debt (used to) bring about violence and force, which the Protestant church didn’t like.
So, in their attempt to make society more egalitarian, more individualistic, less debt and status focused, and most importantly; less violent, northern societies supposedly stopped offering their guests food when they came over.
READ MORE | 7 reasons the Dutch don’t do debt
True or false?
I agree, it sounds like quite a stretch. I’ve always just assumed the habit was a random northern quirk that found steady footing in the fact that it’s pretty convenient.
After all, the Dutch are known for being extremely stingy, sending Tikkies for virtually nothing, and being very honest and direct.
It’s believable on its own just to say that they like kicking guests out before dinner, without dragging out a whole semi-correct historical explanation to prove it.
What do you think of the viral hospitality map? Funny, shocking, or offensive? Tell us in the comments!
Editor’s Note: This article was originally published in January 2022, and was fully updated in June 2023 for your reading pleasure.
I disagree strongly. I’m Dutch and in our house our friends are always welcome any time ! We share all food and drinks that we have. That’s is what I was taught. So my friends never ever leave hungry or thirsty for that matter, I feed them until I’m sure that no one is hungry anymore.
Its not only with the Dutch, I do know Asian people in the Netherlands who make you pay for food and drinks consumed in their house even when you are formally invited! Both partners have very good jobs so I think its simply the stinginess .
I don’t believe this to be a true representation of Dutch people and their culture. It wasn’t like that in my family.
I disagree also. It’s kind of rude to walk-in just before dinner time and think you can just pull up a chair. If anyone wants to come over around dinner time just let them know on time so they can plan. It makes a big difference to cook for 2 or more people. People are always welcome at my table as I know they are coming and then I will make a extra effort too.
Older Dutch folks, now at aged 65 onwards, as I observed are extremely strict in following this – yes, if you are their visitor, and it’s nearly dinner time, you are sure to be kicked-out!
Younger generations aren’t so anymore.
The infamous practice is dying out.
What utter crap! Really I feel very VERY offended. The Dutch people are probably experienced as “rude” in their non stop direct unasked aired views on things and yes they probably always want to have the last word, but really they are not stingy or as described, un -inviting. The saying: ” eet je een hapje mee” of ” Blijf je eten” of “zullen we een bordje bij schuiven” are deeply enbedded in dutch culture. It ‘s probably aomeone’s own attitude that makes the gastvrouw push someone over the threshold away from her gezellige eettafel. It is a thing of the day, that people love to criticize other country’s traditions. Just feel welcome, than you are always welcome. Nevwr expect we say in Holland, but always be hopefull.
I hope you have a most wonderfull time in the Netherlands, whenever you are visiting. And if you are lucky enough to be living here, feel welcome, because you are.
I’m Dutch, born and raised, and I recognize this from my childhood in the 70s and 80s. It was never stingyness through. As we were a meat-potato-veg country then, there were exactly 4 sausages for a family of 4. It’s a planning issue I guess.
But a lot has changed since then. In our diet and in our culture. But dropping by unannounced around dinner time is still very uncommon.