Leave it to the Netherlands to film reality TV so unhinged it makes you cringe but also binge…all of it overnight.
We may have ogled at MTV’s Ex on the Beach, recoiled at the Dutch edition of Married at First Sight, and choked on our microwaved meals watching Naked and Afraid, but have we seen the latest epic: Stranded on Honeymoon Island?
Getting married to a complete stranger is kids’ stuff by reality TV standards. The same goes for being abandoned on a survival program — we get it, you’re hungry, who cares?
That’s why producers of Stranded on Honeymoon Island decided to take it up a notch, by combining the premises of all our favourite shows into one big hot mess. 🫠
Hellish honeymoons
The series follows newly wedded couples while they “wash up on the beach” of a “deserted island” as though they’ve been in a shipwreck, reports RTL Nieuws.
After only a couple of seconds of clumsy introductions, the matches are married on a boat and soon told to jump into tropical waters.
They then swim towards what they believe is a luxury beach resort for their heavenly honeymoon, and boy, are they in for a shock.
Translation: “Ai ai. There is a serious hair in the butter with Sarah and ‘hangry’ Joeri in ‘Stranded on Honeymoon Island’.”
Instead of a resort, they’re met with what RTL Nieuws calls a “true nightmare”: an uninhabited island that’s as barren as their sex lives.
Decked out in damp wedding dresses and suits, the unsuspecting reality TV contestants are then forced to try and literally “survive” in the wilderness, while also bonding with the (usually poorly matched) random stranger they just married.
What could possibly go wrong?
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A glimpse into the Flemish version of the show broadcasted by VTM features a husband ripping off his new wife’s bridal gown on their wedding night — but not for the reasons you might think.
…It’s because his wife was exhausted from dragging along the heavy, wet material behind her while they trudged around aimlessly through the sand.
How will the Dutch react? 😬
This program is already a huge hit in Belgium and was recently also sold to a Dutch channel, which is rumoured to be RTL — the same platform responsible for providing us with our beloved Married At First Sight.
Anyone who is partial to some reality TV drama (um, so everyone deep down) should keep their eyes peeled for these honeymoons from hell that will soon be airing in the Netherlands.
Besides, the Dutch version is bound to make the Belgian one look like a Disney fairytale in comparison. 🥴
Now please: give us some English subtitles, reality-TV gods. 🙏
Are you excited/scared to witness this reality TV show unfold? Let us know in the comments below!