Dating is all fun and games until your dinner date casually mentions, “I’m married.” Yikes.
Let’s back up here a bit.
One of our readers, Ashwin, has been on a fair share of dates. A total of 86 dates over a period of 29 months, to be precise. Just like the job market, it’s sometimes a numbers game.
Ashwin has been in the Netherlands for the past three years. He moved from India to pursue a master’s degree at Leiden University. Now he works in diplomacy (that’s what it takes to survive the dating pool).
What’s a rite of passage for all internationals in the Netherlands? Complaining. In “Expat experiences,” we reach out to our readers and compile the dirty details of their Dutch horror stories.
Enter: tall, blond, blue-eyed Dutch guy
Although he admits to attracting men who are “non-commital,” one particular encounter proved to be a bit of a stretch.
While swiping on Bumble, Ashwin matched with a Dutch guy in his early 30s. You know the type: tall, blond hair, blue eyes, gelled hair, big muscles. Countless expats fall victim to the allure of the basic Dutchie.
READ MORE | Dutch Quirk #97: Apply hair gel like they’re frosting a cake
The pair decided to meet for a drink before the conversation died out. These matches are quite fleeting.
Note that meeting in person was the match’s idea. He thought our guy, Ashwin, was “interesting.” (Romance is so dead. Even among the gays).
At a decked-out cocktail bar in The Hague, neither party was disappointed. The music, overpriced drinks, and ambient lighting really set the mood.
Enter: the wife…
Ashwin complimented the Dutchie’s jewellery, including a golden finger band wrapped around his ring finger. So much for vintage jewellery, the Dutchie replied: “Thanks, it was an anniversary gift from my wife.”
“Your wife?” Ashwin asked politely.
“We’ve been married for five years and two months,” the Dutchman stated, as though it were obvious.
Ashwin was angry, confused, yet unsurprised. It takes a lot more to faze a city-dweller.
@letsdoubledutch send me a tikkie ☕️ #dutchie #datingtips #expatlife #expatsinthenetherlands #expatsinamsterdam #tikkie #bicycle ♬ original sound – Double Dutch
Upon further questioning, Ashwin learned that the Dutchie was in an open marriage. “We can see where things go,” proffered the match.
Despite a couple more drinks, Ashwin refrained from flirting. The biggest turnoff, possibly worse than the sanctioned adultery, was the Dutchie’s political standpoint. Pro-Israel. VVD-voter. Enough said.
Safe to say, that was their first and last date. But perhaps the biggest plot twist of all? The Dutchie paid the tab without a subsequent tikkie.
Do you have a story? DM us on Instagram!
