Holy crap! Man poops on a woman’s porch after a (casual?) night stroll

On Sunday morning, an 88-year-old woman in the Dutch town of Venray found a man sleeping in her garden. Oh, and that man had also taken a sh*t in her lawn chair. No, we didn’t just make that up.

It all started the night before. The man went out for a casual, evening stroll in the neighbourhood when he apparently had a sudden and unrelenting urge to take a dump. 😔

READ MORE | Wild poopers annoy the sh*t out of Nijmegeners

He wandered too far from his home, where his own private urinal lies — so he made his way to this old lady’s porch and proceeded to poop there instead. How convenient!

The next morning, the woman found him sleeping there in nothing but a pair of socks and a jacket. When the police arrived, they woke the man up — but he hadn’t the slightest clue where he was. 🤔

READ MORE | Dutch Quirk #81: Have toilets with an inspection shelf for their poo

Once he was conscious and made aware of the deuce he had dropped, he neatly cleaned it up and “took it home”, writes NU.nl.

In the end, the police concluded that the man was probably (only probably? 🥴) drunk during the incident, and enrolled him on a drug prevention project.

Might we suggest also signing him up for the ultimate list of drunken, poop horror stories too? 💩

What do you think about the crappy situation? Tell us in the comments below! 👇

Feature Image:Depositphotos
Gaelle Salem
Gaelle Salem
Born and raised on the island of Sint Maarten, Gaelle moved to the Netherlands in 2018 to attend university. Still trying to survive the erratic Dutch wind and rain, she has taken up the hobby of buying a new umbrella every month. You can probably find her in the centre of The Hague appreciating the Dutch architecture with a coffee in one hand and a slice of appeltaart in the other.

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