12 realisations every expat in the Netherlands can relate to

There’s a saying that goes, “celebrate the little moments because one day you’ll look back and realise they were big moments.”

It doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue, and when I first read this quote many moons ago, I rolled my eyes at the tragic Instagram-ness of the quote.

Ironically, since that very first eye roll, I’ve come to realise how very true that simple thought is. If you don’t take the time to reflect and celebrate the small moments, who will?!

My recent small moment of significance is my one-year anniversary of moving to the Netherlands. So, in honour of my first 12 months in the Netherlands, I’m sharing 12 realisations, opinions, and tidbits about the Netherlands that I have gleaned over my time here.

1. Cyclists rule the roost

And that’s all there is to it. Most cyclists are impatient, and some like to take their time, but all are in it for themselves. It’s just the lay of the land (pun intended) here in the Netherlands.

2. Dutch people like to pretend they are very healthy people

I say “pretend” because some of their typical foods include: stroopwafels (I’m biased, these are just delicious), bitterballen (hello, high cholesterol), frikandel (whatever the hell that is) and kaassouffle (another fave, so no comment 🤐).

They also call a ham and cheese sandwich a broodje gezond — a healthy sandwich, for some reason.

But, I kid. All that cycling around keeps them fit as a horse!

3. All Dutch people can speak English

That is something every modern tour guide, book, person, and website will tell you, and it is indeed the truth. What they fail to elaborate on is the fact that “Dunglish” is also spoken by many Dutch people.

READ MORE | Where to read Dutch news in English: the best outlets

For example, a Dutch person’s cousin and their niece/nephew are truly only understood if you first get a short family history to understand which relative we are referring to. Neef means cousin AND niece/nephew but is fully dependent on context.

4. A “normal” cup of tea is black

That means no milk. It’s the tragedy of a nation that so few Dutchies understand why on earth I would drink milk with my tea — and even fewer Dutchies would ever do so themselves.

READ MORE | Here’s the tea: Dutchies have no idea how to drink it

Earl Grey tea and hot milk. Is there any greater combination?! I think not, but apparently, the Dutch think otherwise.

5. Going Dutch is the way to go

Love it or hate it, but who doesn’t like a good bargain?

I have heard some crazy stories of Dutch people being cheap, like insisting on showering at the gym to save on water costs at home — but the benefits of this phenomenon are also that splitting the bill at a restaurant is a breeze.

READ MORE | What’s Tikkie? How to use this popular Dutch payment system

If you’ve ever had a group dinner, you’ll understand why it’s so important that you can pay only for the water and broodje that you had, and your mate Jelle can settle his steak, frites, and red wine on his own account.

6. Never trust Apple weather

Ironically, even though I know this, Apple Weather is still the only weather app I have on my phone.

Dutch people swear by Buienradar, but based on personal experience, this is also not the most reliable (I can practically hear you forming your argument as I type this.)

READ MORE | Why does it rain so much in the Netherlands?

But here’s my top advice for being fashionable and weather-ready, despite what your choice of app says: just wear whatever, pop on a jacket, and take an umbrella.

7. Never trust the weather in general

You rise in the morning and see a welcoming, sunny day.

Yet what that sunny day will fail to reveal is that its master plan is to pour all afternoon, leaving you stranded at work with no umbrella or jacket because you were gullible and let yourself be lulled into a false sense of security.

8. The Dutch limit overseas vacations to a small number of areas

When you ask Dutchies about their valuable vakantie tijd, the destinations will include Bali, Thailand, South America, and occasionally a bit more Asia (Japan, China, Singapore).

This is a gross generalisation based on a sample of my many Dutch friends, but I don’t think it’s too far from the truth.

Also, the norm here is to take about six weeks of solid vacation time. It’s appealing, but how do you survive the rest of the year without a break? It remains a Dutch mystery, I suppose.

9. The Dutch healthcare system leaves a lot to be desired

Am I wrong? Seriously, I want to hear if I am. I have heard really tough stories from friends who have struggled to see specialists and get adequate medication to alleviate their symptoms.

Dutch doctors are notorious for prescribing paracetamol for every ache and pain. Menstrual cramps? Back pain? Headaches? Just pop paracetamol, and you’ll be good — not what most expats expect.

READ MORE | What the Dutch are getting right: antibiotics in the Netherlands

For any expat, it’s enough to make you take a trip to your birth country for all the procedures and meds you might need — but then you consider how expensive basic insurance here is, and you figure you may as well try to make the best of what you’ve paid for. 🤷

10. Schiphol bag scanners are the best thing since sliced bread

No joke.

There’s no hassle about trying to fit all of your toiletries into a tiny plastic bag. At Schiphol, I’m just told to “Keep everything in your bag”. Simple. It’s about time the rest of the airports join us here in the Dutch lands.

11. Spreek jij Nederlands? (Do you speak Dutch?)

This one is for the expats: When you are coming in, or out of the Netherlands and you hand over your residence card at passport control the question they will undoubtedly ask is: “Spreek jij Nederlands?”

It’s like a trick question, a test to see how much you truly deserve that residence card and if you really should be in this country.

The answer is always: “Een beetje, maar ik leer”. Even as my Dutch improves, there’s always that split second (okay, multiple split seconds) when I think in English and get too shy to speak Dutch, so I just pretend I don’t know.

12. The strangest Dutch word

Magnetron. It means “microwave”, but it sounds like the name of the newest Transformer movie that I’ll be able to catch in my local Pathé next month at the “Unlimited Night” screening.

READ MORE | 11 untranslatable Dutch words (yes, gezellig is there)

There are more strange Dutch words than you’d imagine, and getting to the point where you can overhear a Dutch conversation without letting out a chuckle may take some time.

What realisations did you come to after living in the Netherlands? Let us know in the comments below!