A 3.5 metre tall penis plant has bloomed and we’ve never been so proud of the Netherlands

Sure, the Netherlands has tulips — but personally, our favourite botanical babe here has to be the penis plant. Yes. The penis. Plant.

He’s a grower, he’s a show-er, and he’s come to Leiden — in a big way.

Ok, we’ll stop now.

Introducing the Amorphophallus gigas

Leiden’s Hortus Botanicus is home to a colourful variety of plants, and, now, a very special piece of wood. (Listen, we can’t help it.)

Although technically, the Amorphophallus gigas, translated as “formless giant phallus” — 😏 — it isn’t a piece of wood at all.

It’s a 3.5-metre-tall phallic plant, featuring a very long ‘peduncle’ #dirtytalkinspo, consisting of a spadix and a bract. Part of the plant’s charm is not just its sexy silhouette but also the fact that its flowers emit a “corpse-like” odour. 😬

READ MORE | 17 unforgettable things to do in Leiden in 2023

All of these features (ok, perhaps not the corpse-like odor — we hope) have led the plant to be given the more common name, penis plant.

Not one, but three erections

The Amorphophallus gigas actually isn’t the first penis plant to pitch a tent in Leiden’s Hortus Botanicus. Two other members of the penis plant family have also bloomed here over the past two years.

In 2021, the hortus welcomed the arrival of the Amorphophallus decus-silvae, and in 2022, not one but two Amorphophallus titanum penis plants bloomed.

READ MORE | Penis plant comes to bloom for first time in 24 years — smells like ‘rotting flesh’

This year, the botanical gardens welcomed their biggest penis yet. In fact, they welcomed twins, with two Amorphophallus gigas plants shooting their sprouts — we’re proud of you boo.

Go take some dick pics

Want to see a penis like never before? Us too. You’ll find these beauts on display in Leiden’s Hortus Botanicus between the hours of 10 AM and 5 PM.

So what are you waiting for? Go ahead and take the only type of dick pics we will ever condone.

Will you be checking out the latest penis plant? Tell us your thoughts in the comments below!

Feature Image: DutchReview/Jon Rambes/Wikimedia Commons/CC4.0 (Modified)

Sarah O'Leary 🇮🇪
Sarah O'Leary 🇮🇪
Before becoming the Senior Editor of DutchReview, Sarah was a fresh-faced international looking to learn more about the Netherlands. Since moving here in 2017, Sarah has added a BA in English and Philosophy (Hons.), an MA in Literature (Hons.), and over three years of writing experience at DutchReview to her skillset. When Sarah isn't acting as a safety threat to herself and others (cycling), you can find her trying to sound witty while writing about some of the stickier topics such as mortgages and Dutch law.

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