Are you a single international struggling to find the Dutch appel of your eye? Well, you’re not the only one — many internationals find it hard to date locals and this expert knows why. 👇
While dating is always hard, diving into the local dating pool as an international can be even harder, dating coach Marie-José Bosch-Kuiper explains on the BNR podcast Wereldspelers.
She outlines three key reasons why “going Dutch” tends to be a uphill battle:
1. The Dutch tend to be extremely independent
According to the liefdesexpert (love expert), a big reason why expats struggle to date locals here is thanks to the Dutchies’ independent attitude.
In Bosch-Kuiper’s words, the “Dutch woman” is fine with traditional dating rituals like having someone holding their door open… but “she decides which door”.
READ MORE | 6 things to know about dating Dutch people
Essentially, the Dutch sense of independence might scare off people who are used to more traditional gender roles.
(Whatever happened to liking strong, independent women? 👀)
2. An avalanche of nonchalance often leaves internationals confused
Other traits that tend to confuse internationals include the Dutchies’ extreme nonchalance and their down-to-earth attitudes.
Bosch-Kuiper states that the Dutch tendency to brush off issues with a sober, practical attitude might come off as being cold and distant or dismissive of the other person’s concerns.
Sounds familiar? That’s because this attitude is also one of the reasons many internationals struggle to make Dutch friends.
3. Cultural differences can be hard to bridge
“International dating requires explanation and communication, if you want to date someone from a different culture, you have to delve into it and communicate about the differences,” says Bosch-Kuiper.
READ MORE | This American TikToker is sharing hella accurate truths about dating in the Netherlands (and more!)
According to the liefdesexpert, this results in internationals choosing to date other internationals instead — especially those from the same background.
Does this expert’s advice resonate with your experience dating in the Netherlands? Spill your hottest tea in the comments below.
