Moving to another country can get challenging: Stress of moving, starting a new study or a job, leaving friends and family behind… who has the stamina? Especially if you don’t have a Significant Other by your side, loneliness might creep in. Before you turn to Google or free online dating sites for answers, check these 6 things to know about the Netherlands and dating!

Bur of course, you can’t start dating without knowing some good Dutch pick-up lines! So here is our video on flirting in Dutch that will improve your love life here in no time.

The Netherlands and Dating: What’s the Deal?

Windmills, tulips and cheese. The Netherlands is known for many things but what about the Dutch women and men? What do they do, where do they live, what are they like? How to date one? If you are clueless about how or where to find that lucky soul-mate to swipe you off your feet then we have some bad news: Dutch might not be a good choice to chase. Welcome to the land of logically sensible and romantically realistic folk. Sounds good so far? Then read on!

dating the dutch
It’s all fun and games till you dive into the mystical world of ‘online dating’

1- Honesty is the way to go

This one goes for both Dutch men and women: honesty is their policy. Don’t worry, your date will tell you if you have something stuck between your teeth after dinner. This at first may come as a shock but once you get used to it you quickly realize that ‘hey! This is actually better!’. I mean, who would want to walk around whole night without anyone mentioning the lipstick stain on your teeth, right?

The Dutch believe that it is better to be honest rather than misleading someone or create high expectations. Instead, they put their cards openly on the table so that you don’t have to assume anything. So, no mind-games, no drama, no fuss! Any doubt? Just ask!

Ummmm you got a little something there Sharon.

2- Keep things casual

Dutch people are casual! If you expect to go to a fancy restaurant as a first date, well, things may not turn out the way you want. Nothing beats a gezellige atmosphere of a traditional Dutch bruin cafe where you can enjoy a pint and some bitterballen next to it.

Friendship Together Bonding Unity Youth Culture Concept

Plus, it is just too much work to try to bike with your high heels and itty bitty dress and who wants to slowly suffocate because of that stupid tie? Lekker rustig, you got this.

3- The Netherlands and dating: About flirting and romance


Time is valuable for anyone! Like we’ve mentioned before, Dutchies are always pro-honesty and that effects their flirting style as well. That’s why Dutch women and men find it a waste of time to sugar-coat everything and showering everyone with half-fake compliments. So, don’t get discouraged cause your date is not complimenting your every treat.

Same style goes for the romantic gestures. Gifts? Instead of the popular ideas like a luxurious box of chocolate, you might get something you would use and enjoy more. At the end, everyone can get those cliche gifts but that Kindle he/she just got for you? That shows not only your Dutchie cares for you, but also listens to what you say and know what you like!

4- Marriage, mortgage and kids

Okay, this is where things get a little tricky. We are all familiar with the traditional way to go once you have a relationship. If you think you find that right person you genuinely like spending time with, first you go steady, then after couple of years one of you pop the question and then come the marriage, mortgage and a kid or two. (So the movies and books and everyone else around us keep telling)

When it comes to the Netherlands and dating things go a little different. Well, they have decided to skip all that. Marriage is seen as a serious commitment by many of them and should not be taken lightly. So you meet someone? Great. The relationship going well? Then let’s move in together and maybe buy a house! Cool. What’s next? How about becoming parents?

Will you marry me Susan? I feel like we’re ready

I once had a friend of mine saying:’First comes the house, then a pet, then a kid then the marriage. I’m not going to marry someone without making sure that we can spend the rest of our lives together. What if he is a bad father?’


5- Dating the Dutch: No taboos

Do you believe in God?’

‘When was the last time you had sex?’

Surprised? We can only imagine. Freedom and individuality is encouraged in the Netherlands. Your Dutchie is likely to be someone who isn’t afraid to tackle the trickiest subjects pretty early on in the relationship if not on the very first date. The reason? They want to know about these subjects to evaluate if you two are compatible with each other. That actually makes sense, right?

Moreover, they will give their opinion whether or not it is pleasing to you, and are direct almost to a fault. What the rest of the world considers as rude or too blunt the Dutch call it honesty and being open.


6- Like saving money? So do they!

The Dutch are known for being frugal and often seen as something negative, but why? What we can add is that your Dutchie knows where the best deals are and just don’t want to pay extra for something you can find for less and who says that’s ever a bad thing?

The Netherlands and Dating: end of the story

Just like you wouldn’t describe yourself as a typical (insert your home country), same goes for the Dutch as well. Apart from some common traits that we can mention with humor, it’s better to keep in mind that your Dutchie is just as unique as you! So, sit back, relax and success with dating the Dutch!


Don’t forget to read our other articles about the Netherlands and dating!

Amsterdate, Amsterdamn! Dating in the Netherlands is not a piece of Stroopwafel!

The Dutch Dating Game

Got a crush on a Dutchie but don’t know how to ask them out? To make sure your romantic endeavors are a success in the Netherlands here are some tips to help get you speaking the same language 😉

Like this video? Want to see more about dating the Dutch or finally start learning Dutch? Then head over to Bart de Pau’s YouTube-channel  (Learn Dutch) and get started!

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