Looking to have a marriage in the Netherlands?
If you are planning on having a marriage in the Netherlands in 2018, we hope you have an amazing (sunny) day ahead. How are you planning on tying the knot? Are you the type that loves a traditional wedding or is eloping more your thing? If you are planning on having the wedding in the Netherlands you might want to know about some Dutch traditions you can incorporate.
After a marriage in the Netherlands that is traditional? If you are thinking of having a traditional church ceremony be aware you need to abide by the civil marriage rules first. Without a civil marriage you will not be allowed to marry at a church. You will need a marriage certificate stating you are legally married first. The Dutch Civil Code (Burgelijk Wetboek) and the Criminal Code Act (Wetboek van Strafrecht) stated that it is illegal to execute a sacramental marriage without a prior civil marriage. So if you want a church ceremony, to go to your local city hall first to find out what paperwork you need before you are legally allowed to do so.
The best (wo)man
The tradition of a best man is not common within a marriage in the Netherlands. At least not as we know the best man from Hollywood movies. The best man is best compared to the Dutch ‘ceremoniemeester’. There is no real translation for the word ‘ceremoniemeester’ but it is probably best described as the free-wedding-planner-friend. The ceremoniemeester plans the day, together with the bride and groom. They make sure that on the day everything will go as planned as much as possible. From the itinerary, to the decorations to the scathes and speeches. Some weddings have more than 1 ceremoniemeester as the job can get quite extensive. If you value the friendship with the person you asked to be your ceremoniemeester, you might want to make sure you don’t overload them.
Has your future partner not bothered to show up to the big day? Don’t panic. You can still get married! If, for some reason one of the partner can’t attend the wedding a marriage can still legally be executed. This is what we call ‘marriage by proxy’ or more popularly ‘marrying with the glove.’ This means that you will marry a stand-in instead, as if this was your future partner.
This tradition is still in use, for example for people who are too sick to attend. However, it isn’t considered common at all. It used to be a more common practice in noble families where a power of attorney was then sent to the future bride. It represented the groom through the glove, which symbolised the transfer of certain rights. Originally, the glove was placed on the altar as a sign of the presence and consent of the absent groom. It also happened frequently after WWII, as young men would emigrate to other countries to later be accompanied by their wife. Before they would get married however, the man would travel to the new home country to get a job first. This is so he was able to provide for his future wife when she would arrive.
Something old, something new, something Dutch, something blue.
A long term tradition in Holland has been to hand out ‘bridal sugar’ to the wedding guests. At the end of the night there used to be little pouches with exactly 5 pieces of sugar coated almonds. (Or sugar coated rocks as we used to call them). The five sweets represented happiness, love, fidelity, prosperity and fertility. So if you want to gift your guests something typically Dutch to thank them for attending your wedding, you could think about going the coated almond way.
Another thing the internet is trying to circulate as a Dutch wedding tradition is planting a pine tree after the wedding. Apparently it is planted outside the newlyweds’ home as a symbol of fertility and luck. Being Dutch I thought I would’ve heard of such a tradition before, but this was news to me. So whether or not it is true I don’t know, but if you want to plant a pine tree as part of your ultra-Dutch wedding, be my guest. However you want to tie the knot, traditional or not, just make sure you enjoy the day.
New marriage rules
As the common law marriage rules changed as of the 1st of January 2018 you might need to do some extra paperwork before you head to the altar. After 180 years of having the same common law rules, the Dutch government deemed it time to modernise the rules. And as much as we appreciate this, the rules are a bit more complicated now than before January first.
For almost 2 centuries it was standard to combine both sets of assets, the bride and the groom’s, from the day of the wedding onwards. In case of a divorce the estate was to be split 50/50, unless the husband and wife had prenuptial agreements. Now, the husband and wife to will keep all their own assets in case the marriage fails. You do however have to prove what is yours so it is advised to see a notary before the big day and keep a record of certain big purchases or gifts throughout the marriage.
The new rules have only been implemented this month so there are no cases yet that can tell us everything. Things will get clearer the longer the rules are in effect. Our advice, try to stay married and you’ll never have to deal with the consequences of these new rules. It’s worth checking out the government website for more official updates about marriage in the Netherlands.
* Looking for more Dutch wedding tips about marriage in the Netherlands? DutchReview has two more that you can check out if you want more useful wedding information want a cool place to get wed. We’re nice like that.