Love them or hate them, the Dutch are fiercely unique (even though they may not dress like it).
One of the best examples of this is what you’ll find in their houses.
In fact, there’s a stack of things that you’ll find in a typical Dutch home that confuse internationals in the Netherlands. Here are 14 of them!
1. A toilet calendar, for when you’ve got things to do and are stuck in the loo
The Dutch are brilliant at multitasking — I mean, just watch them bike whilst simultaneously holding a potted plant and a wheel of cheese.
Their multitasking brilliance also extends to their bathroom routines in the form of the verjaardagskalender (birthday calendar) or WC kalender (toilet calendar).
READ MORE | Dutch Quirk #43: Hang a birthday calendar in their toilet
You’ll find this nifty little thing hanging under a sink or on the wall of a Dutchie’s loo. Scrawled on it will be things like: “Nienke’s birthday”, “Wedding anniversary”, or even “Remind Jeroen to pay his Tikkie for €0.85”.
Ok, we may have exaggerated the last part there. 😉
2. Fabulous window displays that’ll have you pausing in your step
Whether it’s to announce the birth of a new child, to wish Sarah or Abraham a happy birthday, or just to show off fancy decor — the Dutch excel at cool window displays.
The decor is usually facing outwards to put on a show for passers-by to have a peep, say “wat mooi!” (how beautiful), and go along on their way.
At the very least, you’re going to see some cute shells and the odd cactus or two on the windowpane — however, among creative urbanites, the sky’s the limit!
3. Invisible curtains and an attitude of never being nosey
And, speaking of windows, windows in the Netherlands feature the latest Dutch technology: invisible curtains!
Jokes aside, curtains and the Dutch are two things that absolutely do not mix.
READ MORE | Why don’t the Dutch like to use curtains?
Houses in the Netherlands usually don’t come with them, as the Dutch prefer having an uninterrupted view outside.
This likely stems from the Calvinistic mindset of open/no curtains equating to having nothing to hide and living a good life.
So what we’re trying to say is that you aren’t likely to see many curtains blocking your view of families eating dinner — or the odd flash of bum crack! 🍑
4. Inspection-shelf toilets so you can hold a funeral before you flush
Originally nicked from the Germans, the Dutch toilet features an inspection shelf for a closer examination of any logs you may drop. 💩
There’s a method to this madness, however, as this design is perfect for examining your poo to check if your internal plumbing is in tip-top shape!
Pros: you get no wet bum, can have a better look at your poop, and…errr, yeah. You get no wet bum.
Cons: you get a full whiff of the aroma, will use your toilet brush to death, and get to say a final “doei!” to your poop.
READ MORE | 7 odd Dutch quirks: the stranger side of the Netherlands
Internationals beware — Dutch toilets are a very different beast to the ones you’re used to!
5. Steep stairs that’ll almost scare off a mountain goat
If you’re in need of practice for a trip to the Tibetan mountainside, please visit a Dutch house.
The steepness is mostly born out of necessity.
Dutch houses are packed more closely than stroopwafels in AH packaging because Dutch authorities used to tax people based on the width of their homes.
So, if you’re visiting a Dutch house and cry out in amazement at the steepness of their stairs — be warned that your shins may also be in danger. 💢
6. A gourmetten bakplaat (griddle) that’s whipped out every December
It makes sense that the inventors of borrelen appreciate time in the company of good food and drinks.
Gourmetten involves sitting at a table and grilling meat and veggies in tiny pans on a bakplaat (a small device to cook food), with accompanying bread and sauces.
It’s a popular Dutch Christmas tradition and a great way for families to have a gezellig etentje (cosy dinner) together!
As such, gourmetten bakplaten are likely to be stashed somewhere in a Dutch kitchen, waiting for the perfect time to grill.
7. Bathroom sinks in bedrooms because we don’t even know
Like uninvited guests, you can occasionally find bathroom sinks lurking in Dutch bedrooms. 🚰
Dating back to a time when proper bathrooms weren’t as common, “bedroom sinks” are currently more often found in older houses — though newer student houses are also seeing an uptick in these fixtures.
That being said… students beware: some landlords use this “privilege” as an excuse to increase rent on bedrooms that have sinks in them. 😉
8. Ceramic figures giving each other a perpetual smooch
Plenty of Dutch houses seem to feature ceramic figurines of a boy and girl in traditional Dutch clothes having a snog.
They’re a combination of adorableness, Dutch traditionality, and Delfts blauw (traditional blue and white Dutch pottery which depicts scenes from the Netherlands).
I mean…what’s not to like?!
In fact, this kissing couple is so popular that three-storey-tall statues of them were erected in Zaandam.
9. Random Buddha statues, for that extra bit of zen 👌
What are Buddhas, symbols of Buddhism, doing in a largely irreligious country?
One theory is that Western countries have an appreciation for elements of Asian culture that they find easy to digest.
Here’s our theory: Buddhas, with their aura of exoticism, add an element of “yes, it’s from Thailand — I like to travel, you know 😌” (even if it’s bought with a korting at a gift shop in Amsterdam).
10. A flessenlikker to get every drop of what’s lekker
The Dutch love many things, among them a variety of spreads to put on their boterhammen (sandwiches) and being thrifty.
What’s the best way to combine the two?
A flessenlikker, of course!
READ MORE | The 21 weirdest things Dutchies don’t realise are only Dutch
A flessenlikker (or “bottle licker” in English) is an object that you can use to scrape the last bits of jam, Nutella, or whatever spread you fancy out of a jar.
Although relatively alien to most internationals, seeing one in the kitchen is a sure sign you’ve entered a Dutch house.
11. The weirdness that is the Dutch door
Een zogenaamde “Dutch door” pic.twitter.com/GPrmpOwFPK
— Joël van Delden (@Jl_vn_dldn) April 6, 2021
Dutch doors? But wait…how can the Dutch have their own weird doors? 🤔
Well, these doors — also known as stable doors or boerendeuren (farm doors) — are exterior doors with a weird quirk.
They contain an upper and lower half, which can both be opened independently of each other.
These halves function similarly to a window, as the house can be aired by opening the top half, whilst the lower half keeps the dirt and animals out.
This is pretty nifty as they’re most commonly found on farms. After all, you don’t want a goat to pop in and nick your boterham (sandwich)!
12. The efficient kaasschaaf for all your sandwich needs
I’m sure most of us are familiar with the humble cheese-grater — but the Dutch kaasschaaf (cheese slicer) is the cheese-grater’s bigger (and dare we say better? 😉) brother.
READ MORE | Dutch Quirk #5: Eat cheese every day for lunch
Dutchies that want something fancier than plakjes (slices) of cheese from their Albert Heijn grab one of these bad boys and slice their cheese wedges at home.
Coming across one of these in a drawer is signal that you’re either in a Dutch house, or there’s a wild Dutchie lurking around yours (hopefully they brought cheese!)
13. Mysterious draaikiepramen that befuddle most internationals
The draaikiepraam or tilt-and-turn window is relatively common in parts of Europe, but particularly in the Netherlands.
However, its two methods of opening is something that has internationals scratching their heads in confusion.
A draaikiepraam can be tilted inward on its axis to let in a light breeze, but also opened outwards like a door.
These are perfect for houses in the Netherlands that often lack space. However, they feature a finicky mechanism that can be a nightmare to operate. And thank your lucky stars if you’ve never had to pay to have one of them fixed! 😬
Having to do battle with one of these is a sure sign you’ve landed in a Dutch house. 🇳🇱
14. Two different kitchen towels that you’d better not mix up
Almost every Dutch house has two kitchen towels — one for your hands, and the other to dry washing up.
Wipe your hands on the wrong towel, and you risk a stern frown.
Which one is which? Well, the Dutch people we’ve spoken to for this article say the one for their hands is fluffier.
To be perfectly honest, though, we just take a random guess each time. 🤷♀️
As you can see, the Dutch clearly abound with creativity and quirkiness (though we’re definitely going to have to give those stairs a pass)!
What other strange things have you come across in Dutch houses? Tell us all about it in the comments below!
Hagelslag on sandwiches eaten by serious attorneys for lunch
We live in the Netherlands now and that piece was spot on and very funny. We love it here and the Dutch are unique.
With all due respect I think you need to travel a bit more Liana before becoming a writer/journalist, many of the things you mentioned you will find in other European countries also, the windows – Austria, Towels – most countries, Half door -Ireland, cheese slicer – most countries,
Typical Dutch is “een bovenlicht” this is a little window just above a door enabling light to reach areas where it normally would be dark, E.G. landings, halls sometimes even at toilets. The “bovenlicht” is a typical Dutch invention introduced by the architect Rietveld.
A deep fat fryer in every kitchen.