Let’s set the scene: you’re complaining to your significant other about not getting the hang of a phrase in Dutch. They smile at you, and then pipe up with the ever-endearing “don’t worry, schatje (darling), I’ll learn you how!”
With this classic phrase, you know they’ve given you their word to help you — and you won’t be stuck assaulting passers-by with the kind of Dutch that amounts to a war crime.
What is it?
Like congratulating every single person at a birthday party, this quirk seems as stereotypically Dutch to internationals as putting plakjes of kaas (slices of cheese) in your sandwich.
It’s a phrase that you’re likely to hear from your Dutch friends, coworkers, or significant other when you find yourself in need of a little help.
If it sounds a little weird to foreign ears, it’s because this is an example of Dunglish (also known as steenkolenengels — “coal English” or broken English).
Even though The Netherlands speaks the best English out of all non-English speaking countries, its occupants do manage to season the language with a Dutch flair. ✨
Why do they do it?
Like switching to English when you’re trying to communicate with them in mangled Nederlands, the Dutch like to be helpful.
If you’re friends — and they can help you out in such a way that saves you both time and the potential headache of figuring things out on your own — then they’ll do it.
Or, y’know, maybe they’re trying to say sorry for forcing salty drop (liquorice) on you. 😉
Why is it quirky?
The phrase “I’ll learn you” is a direct translation of the Dutch phrase “ik zal je leren” (I will you learn/teach).
Because Dutch has a verb (“leren”) that means either “learn” or “teach”, depending on the context, there’s an additional layer of confusion that trips many speakers up.
Many other wonky translations from Dutch into English exist solely as Dunglish, but “I’ll learn you” has taken on a life of its own.
It’s not uncommon to hear some non-Dutch speakers unironically use this phrase, as there’s something rather endearing about it!
Should you join in?
That depends!
If you’re a native English speaker like me, then the strange grammar might feel a bit odd to say.
However, don’t let that keep you from participating in the spirit of the thing — extending a helping hand to someone who needs it. 🤗
What do you think of this Dutch quirk? Have you experienced it? Tell us in the comments below!