First time celebrating a birthday in the Netherlands? Gefeliciteerd! Birthdays are a special event in every culture and have their own little quirks. The Netherlands is no exception.
So here are some of the most common, and delightfully strange, Dutch birthday traditions that make celebrations here truly… different.
1. Congratulate everyone in sight
In most cultures, you just wish the birthday boy or girl a happy birthday.
In the Netherlands, regardless of whose birthday it is, everyone is congratulated for celebrating a birthday with one simple word: gefeliciteerd (congratulations).
The birthday celebrant’s parents? Gefeliciteerd! Their siblings? Gefeliciteerd! Their grandparents, their aunts and uncles, cousins, and even their pet guinea pig? Gefeliciteerd!
Why? Who knows?! Perhaps it was invented by the same people who invented the three-kisses greeting. Prepare for incoming slobbery lips and wet cheeks. 😗
TIP: Learning how to say “gefeliciteerd” is a MUST. Otherwise, you risk embarrassment and stares of judgment as you try to say this guttural word.
2. Text someone’s parents instead of the birthday person
This is a bit cute, but mostly goes to show how impressively organised the Dutch are. Alright, so there’s a lot of congratulations in person. But did you know that many parents of children having a birthday will receive a flood of texts?
Let’s say your dad’s colleague at work may know it’s your birthday today. They’ll message your dad to congratulate him, but (since they probably don’t know you directly), you’ll get — you guessed it — nothing.
But nice for your Dad. 🤷
3. Sit in the circle of death during birthday parties
Usually, at a party, you would expect people to walk around, form little groups, and mingle with other guests. Instead, the Dutch LOVE to sit in one massive circle.
No matter how many people are at a birthday party, you wouldn’t catch a single one standing up. Why? Who knows.
However, we’ll give them this: sitting in a circle is essential for gezelligheid. This Dutch concept embodies all things comfy, warm, and happy.
You can’t have a Dutch birthday party without feeling cosy. And how do you do this? A circle layout!
A little circle (or maybe a large circle) is a great way to get a good look at everyone who’s at this party, and it makes sure that no one gets left out. Gezellig, indeed!
But Dutch people do have their pet peeves with this tradition. The circle is known for being unbearably boring.
After all, there’s not much to sitting in a circle apart from talking to whoever is sitting next to you. 🤷
4. Serve birthday tart instead of cake
If you’re wondering why anyone would bother serving something that isn’t a rich chocolate cake or a flawlessly decorated vanilla cake, your guess is better than ours. But, such is Dutch life. 🎂
Although they’re equally common, Dutchies like to serve pies or local tarts, called vlaai, instead of cake. Vlaai is a traditional dessert to have on your birthday, so it’s only natural to serve something so unequivocally Dutch.
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These delightful treats are made of pastry and all kinds of fillings, from fruits like cherries and strawberries to a crumbled butter and sugar mix.
The Netherlands isn’t known for being a culinary innovator or for having an inventory of delicious recipes, but we have to say they nailed it when they invented vlaai.
You’re also likely to find appeltaart at birthdays, the Netherlands’ iconic rendition of apple pie — and once you have a taste, you’ll never want to go back.
5. Open birthday gifts in front of all their guests
Buying someone a birthday present is always appreciated!
But if you expect the celebrant to thank you for the gift and stash it away for later, think again.
In the Netherlands, people will open your gifts in front of EVERYONE, and there is no stopping them. 😬
So maybe take that as a warning not to buy any gifts that could be embarrassing or inflammatory in front of their parents and oma en opa (grandma and grandpa).
Not to mention, it feels extremely awkward having everyone watch one person open their presents one by one — often in silence to achieve peak awkwardness.
6. Let all their friends roast them on their 21st birthday
The legal age in the Netherlands is 18, but for some reason, doing a big celebration for your 21st birthday has become a big thing for Dutchies. But if it’s an excuse for another party, how can we refuse? 👀
Celebrating your 21st birthday is a pretty big event. Some people go all out with caterers and seating arrangements, and guests come over for a huge celebration.
But it all boils down to a big birthday roast for the celebrant. And no, we don’t mean the dinner kind. Birthday celebrants must be prepared to have all their embarrassing night-out stories and middle school blunders revealed to friends and family.
This is on the newer side of Dutch birthday traditions, so don’t be surprised if you’re met with blank stares when asking an older person about the 21st birthday dinner.
7. Call you Abraham or Sarah when you turn 50 years old
Are you turning 50? Well, hello, Abraham! It’s nice to meet you, Sarah!
You might be wondering, “Who the heck are Abraham and Sarah?”
These oddly specific nicknames are a biblical reference that honours gaining wisdom from experience.
You are old enough to be “visited” by Abraham or Sarah by the time you’ve reached the age of 50. They then leave you with some of their wisdom, because they’re very old themselves.
Along with turning 50, it’s very common that friends and family of the celebrant will set up funky inflatable Abrahams and Sarahs around their home or workplace, as well as funny posters, so people can congratulate them.
8. Bring your own celebratory birthday treats to the workplace
Sorry to break it to you, but if you expect to be the one getting treated for your birthday, you might be in for some disappointment and culture shock.
In many cultures, your workplace will buy you a cake and maybe even a present for your birthday. In the Netherlands, birthday celebrants have to bring their own treats to share with their colleagues.
Of course, it is your special day, but you’re expected to be generous towards other people.
Generosity applies to other parts of celebrating your birthday, like serving everyone beer and cake at your birthday party (no, no one else is allowed to help you), and sometimes even paying for everyone’s meals if you invited them out for dinner.
READ MORE | These places in the Netherlands will give you free stuff on your birthday
It seems a little counterintuitive, but a Dutch person’s birthday is the only day you will not find them being overwhelmingly stingy — as many stereotypes say.
9. Keep birthday calendars in the toilet
Okay, normally, a birthday calendar wouldn’t be so strange to keep. It’s just the fact that it’s in Dutchies’ toilets specifically that makes it just plain weird. 🤨
Do Dutchies expect to memorise birthdays when Mother Nature calls? Well, it seems like a pretty decent place to do so.
If you like to keep busy while doing your thing, browsing the birthday calendar is a convenient and casual read.
While it is very strange to internationals, we can’t help but feel like it’s kind of sentimental that they’re doing their business and thinking about all the birthdays that are coming up. How sweet!
And there you have it! Gefeliciteerd, now you know more about Dutch birthday celebrations. Best of luck with your next circle of death!
Is there a Dutch birthday tradition we missed? What’s your favourite tradition listed here? Tell us what you think!
nr, 1 is really not true. It seems to depend on the area but in my 43 years I never congratulated everybody on a birthday.
I see this a lot on this site: a person has an experience in the NL and directly it is: this is typical Dutch!!!
No it’s super true. I’m Dutch an had to get used to not congratulating everyone when I moved to the US
In that case you probably never visited a Dutch birthday. Really, we do congratulate everyone.
True.i had to learn too
nr 4 is bs too. what the fuck?
Nope. Not bs. Maybe it depends a little where you live and vlaai might be more common in the southern provinces but when I go to birthdays (or celebrate my own) there’s either slagroomtaart, appeltaart or vlaai. Living in the province Gelderland I just as often find vlaai at the menu as slagroomtaart, maybe to the north it’s more that but vlaai is common enough. At my own birthday you won’t find slagroomtaart though because I find the taste bland and boring and at other birthdays if that’s all they’ve got I will only eat a very small part or even decline.
oh it is true,but vlaai is mostly in the south, Limburg and North
Brabant, except for the children, they often do get a lovely cake or pie.
nr 6. perhaps you are confusing The Netherlands with the USA as there is absolutely nothing that celebrates the age of 21. It is ridiculous,
No, it is a newer tradition to celebrate your 21st birthday with a 21 dinner, a huge multi-course dinner with all your friends and it’s almost mandatory that they roast you a little bit in their speech
In case you haven’t noticed, the Netherlands has adopted some American traditions in the last decade. I am 33 now and a big 21st birthday party wasn’t so common 12 years ago. But then again in the past we also didn’t have baby showers for example, and Halloween was there but not a big thing except for on television (we used to only buy sweets to give out with Sint Maarten in the past but these days if we don’t have sweets with Halloween kids leave our door empty handed and we don’t need to bother with Sint Maarten anymore because no one comes) and these have also been rising trends, blown over from the USA, so I wouldn’t be surprised if with Gen Z and Gen Alpha this 21st birthday celebration is a thing.
It’s a relative new tradition that started among students. They invite old friends (from childhood) and new friends (from study) and their new roommates to let them meet each other for the first time. They tell all terrible (roast)stories about the birthday boy/girl in front of his of her parents. After diner (parents have to cook, siblings have to serve) they go out to the bars/dancings they went while still living at home with their parents. It’s actually quite fun, but it costs a lot of money and a lot of work!
it is, as it is the legal age of becoming an adult
I recall that when my Dutch aunt turned 50, my Dutch mom got a kind of flat cake/cookie in the shape of a huge “Sarah.” I loved the texture of the peculiar cake? I had never tasted before. I haven’t been able to find it anywhere since. Can anyone tell me where to find a Sarah cookie/cake? (I did find the recipe and see several molds on Etsy, but not the cake itself.) Thanks in advance for your assistance!
Sorry, I realise I am terribly late to the party (it’s 2025 now), but I’m hoping you might still read this. Not sure if it’s the same, but here in the east (Achterhoek) we have the tradition – or, at least the older generations – of giving a loaf of bread to the person turning fifty, either in the shape of Abraham (for a man) or Sarah (for a woman). My grandmother gave this to my father when he turned fifty in 2003 – and I’ve been told the tradition is not as common anymore as it used to be.
Try googling “Achterhoek brood verjaardag Abraham” and it should give you some hits.
https://es-factory.nl/blog/2015/09/sarah-of-abraham-koek-zelf-maken-recept/
You’ll just have to put the text in a translator
Our parents who are from the Netherlands use to make a “special decorated chair “ for the birthday person
Perhaps good to know that:
1. Most of cases it is considered spending 15€ for a gift.
2. Children also celebrate their birthday at school with their classmates. They call this “Traktatie”.
A dutch birthday starts with coffee/tea and a piece of birthday cake
Sometimes you’ve to wait everybody drunk his coffee/tea and ate the cake before getting another drink
In the north of the Netherlands they are very strict in this , the south is more easy
So be in time to avoid everybody has to wait for his first drink