This is Frank, coming live from a country that has just spewed it’s morning coffee all over the monitor after seeing this little head-liner: North Korea is seeking to attract tourists with its own bitching ski resort?! I’ve actually met some people with serious ambitions to visit North Korea, but everyone outside of the North Korean political echo chamber knows that the only reason you’d go there is just so you can come back and say: “Holy **** guys, I’ve just been to North Korea!” The prospects of seeing this resort come to its conclusion are apparently slim to none. Not only are none of the resorts, hotels, and bridges even halfway through construction, but even the peace-loving Swiss have refused to sell North Korea their elevators. The North Koreans, lacking the technology to build ski elevators, hilariously claimed that this is <quote>a serious human rights abuse that politicizes sports and discriminates against Koreans</quote>. What’s the world coming to, eh?
Speaking of Putin, the most bad-ass head of state on the planet is shaking his furied fists at the Netherlands: having set a dead-line (probably while winking and making quotation marks with his hands as he pronounced it as dead-line) for us to explain the alleged physical abuse of a Russian diplomat named Dmitri Borodin. Borodin would have been mistreated by Dutch policemen in The Hague and Putin, with an unusual aversion to people getting hit with police batons, now demands both explanations and apologies. Dutch ministers have yet to respond, probably after they are done hiding in a corner and fearing Putin’s patented Judo chops and throws.
Meanwhile, old people continue to be awesome as the the Nobel Prize for Physics was awarded to François Englert (80) and Peter Higgs (84). Dutch newspaper Trouw was so excited that they celebrated this events in a article which later on claims that the Big Bang occurred 3,7 billion years ago. Whoops, looks like someone dropped a 1, because the BB happened approximately 13,7 billion years ago.
That’s enough craziness for one day. And now for the Dutch weather report: