You haven’t celebrated Christmas in the Netherlands properly if you haven’t done gourmetten. Gour-what-en? Exactly.
If you’re the foreigner in a relationship and this is your first holiday season with the Dutch in-laws, you have a fifty-fifty chance of walking straight into a night of gourmetten. Same goes for a winter dinner party with Dutch friends.
What is it? How do you prepare? And how can you avoid poisoning yourself with an undercooked tiny chicken fillet? Stay calm and read on. It will be fine. (And filthy.)
What is gourmetten in the Netherlands?
Thou shall take a crapload of weird little meats, tiny pans, a raclette-like device and an enormous variety of side dishes and sauces. Combine it all, and FEAST!
In other words: Gourmetten is a beloved Dutch Winter tradition where everyone sits around a table and cooks their own food on a small, table-top electric grill. Gezellig!
It’s especially popular during Christmas, New Year, winter birthdays, or really any day that ends with the thought: “Let’s not cook. Let’s just plug that greasy old device in and hope for the best.”
Of course, it’s slightly looked down upon by the high-culture culinary crowd (what part of Dutch cuisine isn’t?) — but most regular Dutch folk consider the tradition a fitting way to stuff themselves with huge quantities of wine and meat.
READ MORE | What happens during Christmas in the Netherlands? A guide to the winter holidays
The origins of this totally-not-Calvinistic tradition are unclear. Allegedly, two chefs toured the country in the ’70s in order to promote gourmetten to Dutch housewives. Originally, it was a thing of the Swiss people.
Secretly, the meat industry was behind this tour de carne, and their plan definitely worked. At least when my family does gourmetten, I can safely say that we boost that industry by a few kilos.
How does gourmetten work?
Easy: You take a table grill, plug it in, wait an eternity for it to heat up, and then fight for space like you are in a polite(-ish) Dutch version of the Hunger Games.
Each person gets a tiny pan and cooks their own selection of meats, vegetables or fish. Everyone then waits. And waits. And stares deeply at their pan as if willing the food to cook faster.
It is chaotic. It is greasy. And it is absolutely lekker.
What you will eat when gourmetting
The first rule of the Gourmetten Club is never to ask what the hell the meat consists of. Anyway, the main thing you’ll be eating is cheap baguettes and sauces. Besides that, you simply accept that the Albert Heijn gourmetschotel contains beef, chicken, turkey, pork, something beige and something beige-but-longer.
Because it takes a while to heat the device, your mom will continuously warn you about not starting the gourmetten process too soon. So inevitably, you will start to devour all the bread and little pots of sauces on the table first. This is a rite of passage.
Once the grill is finally hot and your tiny pan is buttered like a slippery ice rink, you will face the full Dutch gourmetten lineup. Obviously, all families have their own traditions, but there’s a certain amount of similarity with what’s on the menu:
-
Little beef steaks (gone in a blink, the Dutch uncle will poach these right at the start of dinner)
-
Little chicken fillets (“CHECK IF IT’S COMPLETELY COOKED THROUGH OR YOU WILL DIE FROM SALMONELLA”)
-
Little hamburgers (if your mother-in-law just chops up a big one, then just ditch your partner, you’re better than that)
-
Little turkey pieces (might be chicken, best to blacken it)
-
Some chopped onions, mushrooms and other veggies (because that makes it… healthy?)
-
Little slavinken (minced meat rolls with bacon wrapped around them — how can we say anything bad about that?)
READ MORE | Dutch Quirk #70: eat too much and have to uitbuik afterwards
Most supermarkets sell pre-packaged gourmet sets so you never have to make decisions. They also sell fish options, veggie options and even plant-based tiny things designed to grill.
What to buy for a gourmetten night
If you host your own gourmet party, here is what you need for a flawless evening of Dutch table grilling chaos:
-
A gourmetschotel from any supermarket
-
Kilo after kilo of baguette
-
All the sauces you can fit on the table
-
A selection of vegetables to convince yourself you are balanced
-
Herbs, garlic butter and too much pepper
-
Cheap wine, good wine or both
-
A working table grill and enough tiny pans for every guest
-
Windows that can open wide for ventilation
If you like breathing, include that last one.
Gourmet etiquette: dos and don’ts of gourmetten in the Netherlands
Gourmetten is simple, but the social rules are not. Here is how to avoid becoming the foreigner who ruins Christmas.
⏰ Timing and turn taking
Gourmetten is a sloppy dining experience that requires some almost-skillful cooperation. Remember, you’re cooking on a tiny grill, around a table that’s equally as tiny, with numerous hungry Duchies.
To ensure a smooth gourmetten session in which nobody is left hungry, make sure you allow everyone to eat (even if it’s hard to take a break).
👯♂️ Maintaining a good social atmosphere
Getting together with the fam? Some old friends you haven’t seen in a while? Things can quickly get out of hand — especially if there’s a bit too much wine involved. 🤪
So, you know the drill: avoid touchy subjects, don’t be too direct, and try not to start a fight with your partner (or their parents). Keep it gezellig. Or at least pretend.
🧽 Clean-up responsibilities
After you finish shovelling food into your tiny pan and even tinier mouth, take a moment. Breathe. Assess your life choices.
Then help your host clean the table. Open windows. Wipe grease. Fan away smoke. Prepare yourself for dessert.
Why do Dutchies love gourmetten so much?
So why is gourmetten such an essential Dutch tradition? Well, there is meat, sauce, and wine everywhere! What’s not to like? 🍷
Besides gluttony, there’s also the upside of messing around with the little sauces, meats, and pans. This way, you can finally avoid having an actual conversation with your relatives about how “Zwarte Piet is just a tradition“, and people should leave it alone (😖).
Your mother-in-law likes it because she doesn’t have to cook. Dutch people like it because they secretly know there is (at least a little) more to Dutch cuisine than that. So hey! Everybody’s happy, right?
The smell: the unavoidable reality of gourmetten
Haven’t you been reading? There is a lot of food and wine on the table! That means it won’t be long until someone spills some wine or your brother-in-law lets a huge one rip.
The smell of gourmetten is legendary. It is the signature fragrance of Dutch Christmas, consisting of nostalgia, burnt grease and a hint of snackbar.
It will linger for days. Your clothes will reek. Your hair will reek. Your curtains will reek. Even your soul will reek.
Do not underestimate it. Use shampoo. Open windows. Pray softly.
If you wear a nice outfit, that is on you.
How to prepare your home for gourmetten
Wanna prepare for the worst? Here’s a quick checklist before you dive into your very own gourmetten adventure:
-
Open all windows, even in December
-
Warn neighbours in case smoke drifts across the street
-
Remove pets who may attempt to steal meat or scream
-
Wear clothes you are not emotionally attached to
-
Keep a roll of kitchen paper nearby for the inevitable wine spill
-
Test your fire alarm (unless you enjoy drama)
The final verdict? Gourmetten is a great Dutch tradition! It’s a total slam dunk in the gezelligheid and culinary department. So hug those in-laws if they’re into gourmetten!
What do you think of this Dutch culinary classic? Tell us in the comments below!
The reason it’s so popular is the fact there is little or no preparation necessary. You can buy “gourmet” food all prepared from the supermarket, a couple of bottles sauces and that’s Dutch “gourmet” nothing to do with meaning of the word
Inadvertenly the Dutch will err their portion estimations on the light side. 20 people for dinner, one small platter will be enough. So it takes forever to heat up and when it does, you get two measly pieces. Typical Dutch dining alright!!!
Guess you were visiting the wrong families and/or friends for gourmet 🤣 I’m sorry for you. Better look for other ppl to hang out with 😆
We always start to heat it before we sit around the table (or we have a nice starter) and there is always too much food (incl meat). Really depends on the host. Maybe you were in the north of NL?
We used always to have plenty of stuff left over.
We visited family in the Netherlands in 1981, and Gourmet was a strong tradition even then. We came back to the states with Gourmet cooking sets, making this a favored tradition for every holiday and birthday since. Morning after gourmet breakfast is especially fun. Whip up some pancake batter to go with all the leftover bacon and hashbrowns or Potato Crowns, and you might be at the table again for hours.
Now if we can just fine more of those mini-spatulas state-side, we would be quite happy.
Most New Years Eve, we do the little pans, hubby is Dutch, we live in Australia, New Years Eve we always celebrate Dutch style, with Ollie Bollen, no fireworks though as it’s summer here.
Hysterical!!! Meat, sauce and wine! Yay!
We used always to have plenty of stuff left over.
Goed en grappig artikel. Ik prijs mijzelf gelukkig nooit meegedaan te hebben aan dit greasy modeverschijnsel. Van het woord alleen moet ik al kokhalzen. Lang leve de traditionele keukens!