The year 2022 has seen more high-up Dutchmen caught red-handed in sexual misconduct, the latest being Ajax’s Marc Overmars. It’s a sad, but familiar record on repeat. For lasting change in the Netherlands, what can be done about it?
Well, now is the time for men to really step up and show tangible solidarity and support for women.
Hopefully, the fact you are reading this means you have the curiosity and motivation, but where should you begin? This article proposes four areas to help explore and understand your own approach and influence.
Its intended audience is male, international or native, though all suggestions are welcomed and encouraged.
1. Educate yourself
Beginnings can be intimidating: you’re waltzing onto a battlefield equipped with ignorance in your right hand and good intentions in your left, but this is why doing the reading is vital.
Education should always be encouraged for self-development and growth. Yet, there’s an uncomfortable truth: not everyone is an avid reader.
Yet, for every The Second Sex (around 800 pages long) there are much shorter and brilliant reads, such as We Should All Be Feminists (60 pages), and Feminism is for Everybody (140 pages). Fictional literature and media from female writers also counts, as it introduces new perspectives and nurtures empathy and understanding.
All in all, making a conscious decision to read, listen to, and watch content from the myriad female talents out there is such a positive step forward. It’s not by accident that there are so many calls to increase female representation in all spheres of cultural and social life.
2. Practice active listening
You can be the most empathetic human being on the planet, but there are certain things you’ll never fully understand or experience. This is where active listening helps.
Women are faced with blatant and subtle pressures and expectations, constraints and controls, insecurities and safety concerns — there’s a lot to process.
However, it is of the utmost importance not to mistake listening as a reason for you to be meticulously schooled by the women in your life. It’s not their responsibility to educate men, and you’ll be assigning a form of emotional labour to them.
The best way to go about listening is to take the time to listen with compassion, but do it with an understanding of boundaries and context.
3. Be mindful
The more you engage, the more you learn, and the more you begin to challenge your own views.
You can start to question yourself by asking:
- Why do I think this? Is there concrete proof to support what I believe?
- Where does this view of mine come from?
From these basic questions, not only do you get a far better idea of what you believe, but also an understanding of the different cultural and environmental influences and biases that surround you.
Ultimately, mindfulness will place you in a stronger position to call out sexist behaviour and to promote less toxic environments.
4. Share your journey
Being confronted with ingrained biases and prejudices is deeply uncomfortable as daily situations, your upbringing and culture, the media and information you consume, as well as your formal education may be placed under in a new, unflattering light.
You’ll also be likely challenged with what is means to be a man and a positive male role model. For example, can male strength be redefined to support women? With something earned through compassion and justice, perhaps?
Don’t begin this journey alone — encourage others and share with your mates, colleagues, and family members.
If you’re serious about supporting women, these are great places for you to start. Eventually, if we all put in the work, we can expect a brighter and, most importantly, fairer future in the Netherlands.
As an additional plus side, you’ll most likely find the best version of yourself along the way. 🧘
What do you think of these methods as stepping stones for addressing behavioral misconduct in the Netherlands? Tell us in the comments below!
Feature Image: Alexis Brown/Unsplash
