A cow that broke loose from a Groningen slaughterhouse on Monday triggered a major police operation, halted traffic on the A7, and took five bullets to bring down before a vet cut its throat on the spot.
The animal escaped from Kroon Vlees, a meat processing facility on the Gotenburgerweg in the Euvelgunne industrial area.
According to Sikkom, who covered the incident, the transporter who brought the cow to the facility said a gate had not been properly closed.
A motorway standstill
Officers spent over an hour trying to capture the animal as it ran across junctions and through traffic along the Kieler Bocht, a road running parallel to the A7.
When those attempts failed, the force made the call to shoot the cow to prevent an accident. Traffic on the A7 was temporarily halted while a marksman climbed onto a patrol car and opened fire.
It took five shots to finally bring the animal down.
Footage of the incident (which NOS notes can be distressing to watch) shows the cow remaining on its feet and bleeding after the initial rounds before eventually collapsing. A second officer then fired a point-blank shot to the head, after which the carotid artery was cut.
A grim kind of practicality
The vet on the scene told Sikkom it was classified as a noodslachting (emergency slaughter): “If I can get there within a minute, I can cut the throat, and the meat can still be sold,” he said.
Officers confirmed to RTV Noord that multiple capture attempts had failed before the situation turned dangerous alongside the ring road.
Severing the artery, they said, was also done to spare the animal unnecessary suffering.
What do you make of how this was handled? Let us know in the comments.
If you had plans to run into the King in Amsterdam, that won’t be possible.King Willem-Alexander turns 59 on April 27, and this year, Koningsdag celebrations are heading northward, to Dokkum, Friesland.
“Dokkum deserves to welcome the head of state and his family,” the King’s Commissioner in Friesland told NOS.
The province of Friesland has never hosted Koningsdag during Willem-Alexander’s reign. The royal family was last in the area back in 2008, when it was still Queen’s Day, so it’s about time!
Dokkum, who?
Dokkum is a small city surrounded by 52 villages, which together make up the municipality of Noardeast-Fryslân.
In Frisian, King’s Day goes by a different name: Keningsdei.
Don’t be fooled, though. The northernmost province of the Netherlands is pulling out all the stops for the King’s birthday.
The royal bus will arrive escorted by eight Friesian horses, and more than 80 ships will be anchored in the city’s canals to serve as floating stages for performances.
Elfstedentocht nostalgia
No celebration in Friesland is complete without a reference to Elfstedentocht, the legendary ice-skating race through eleven Frisian cities that hasn’t been held since 1997.
A teenage Willem-Alexander even took part in the 1986 edition, skating under the alias WA van Buren.
During their visit, the royal family will receive a stamp card to collect stamps at each location on the route, recreating the rules of the race.
In a celebration of culture, two other distinctly Frisian sports will also feature: kaatsen (a traditional ball game) and fierljeppen (pole vaulting over a body of water, which is exactly as chaotic as it sounds).
Foar de safolste kear dit jier hat junior Germ Terpstra fierder ljept as elkenien. Dizze kear die er dat op de Nasjonale Fierljep Manifestaasje op It Heidenskip, wêrby't ek de topljeppers út Hollân oanwêzich wiene. Yn de finale ljepte Terpstra mei syn twadde sprong nei 21,45 meter. Dat is in nij skânsrekôr foar junioaren.
Beyond local sports, the visit covers a lot of ground.
At De Zijl, Dokkum’s central square, the Wadden Islands will be in the spotlight. Farmers, fishers, and chefs from Texel, Vlieland, Terschelling, Ameland, and Schiermonnikoog will be showcasing produce from the region.
Music school Opus 3 from Dokkum will perform alongside the foundation Méér Muziek in de Klas (More Music in the Classroom), of which Queen Máxima is the honorary chair.
At the Bolwerk, another public square, more than 2,000 students will gather, carrying ribbons inscribed with a message for the world, and bid the royal family goodbye with a song in Fries.
Will you skip Amsterdam’s chaos and celebrate King’s Day in Friesland? Let us know in the comments.
The telecom provider Odido is facing a class action lawsuit over a data breach that exposed the personal details of over six million Dutch residents. Starting today, affected customers may join the claim for free.
The first mass claim against Odido is being brought on by a privacy foundation called Consumers United in Court (CUIC). The plaintiff previously pursued antivirus company Avast for allegedly selling user data without consent.
CUIC demands compensation of €500 per victim from the defendant, reports AD.
However, an expert warns that the proceedings may well last up to two years. So don’t count on Odido’s payout to pay your energy bills.
What happened in the Odido breach?
In early February, hackers broke into Odido’s system by tricking customer service staff with phishing emails and fake phone calls posing as the company’s IT department.
Despite multiple warnings from Salesforce (Odido’s customer relationship management platform) to be wary of prank callers, the juvenile ploy enabled hackers to bypass two-factor authentication and access Odido’s customer database.
The stolen data included names, home addresses, phone numbers, bank details, and ID numbers for both current and former customers.
Odido refused to pay the ransom demanded by the hacking group ShinyHunters, which then published this data on the dark web.
What does CUIC want from Odido?
Aside from paying for damages, CUIC wants Odido to issue a formal message to all current and former customers whose data was leaked. Further, CUIC requests that the defendant fully account for how the breach happened.
Hilde Laffeber, CUIC’s communications expert, believes that victims of the leak could fall prey to phishing attacks.
“The mere fear that something like this could happen is already damage,” she tells RTL Z.
On one hand, CUIC blames Odido for its negligence. Laffeber claims, “Far too much data was stored for far too long a period. The sheer volume of data stolen alone shows that the data was not properly protected.”
On the other hand, a mass claims expert at Leiden University, Bonne van Hattum, thinks the case is more complicated than CUIC makes it seem.
She tells AD, “You have to be able to demonstrate that stakeholders suffered damage due to the actions of a party.”
How do you join the case?
Anyone who was a customer of Odido, Ben, T-Mobile, or Tele2 can sign up on CUIC’s website to join the lawsuit. You don’t need to know for certain whether your data was included in the breach.
While joining is completely free, a portion goes to the company financing the litigation if a payout is made. The exact share will depend on how long the case runs and what’s ultimately awarded.
Is it worth it, you ask? Van Hattum believes so.
The expert tells AD, “CUIC has most likely conducted thorough research into the feasibility. Otherwise, no financier would be interested.”
Were you caught up in the Odido breach? Are you planning to join the claim? Let us know in the comments.
NS train conductors in the Netherlands will start wearing body cameras on Tuesday, in a move aimed at tackling persistent aggression and violence on Dutch trains.
State Secretary Annet Bertram handed the first two cameras to NS workers at The Hague Central Station on Tuesday morning, calling it “an important step” towards making public transport safer, reports Hart van Nederland.
A 2024–2025 trial with 120 volunteer head conductors and service staff found the cameras helped calm tensions during incidents and produced footage usable as evidence in criminal cases.
The previous cabinet set aside €12 million for the rollout at Prinsjesdag (Budget Day) last year, as part of a broader safety package for public transport.
How do the bodycams work?
Train staff can switch the camera on when a situation appears likely to become dangerous, or when they suspect a criminal offence is being committed.
Footage can be reviewed by the conductor or authorised NS personnel, and police or judicial authorities can request recordings for investigations.
Everything is automatically deleted after 28 days, according to Nu.nl.
NS security employees — around 700 BOA’s (buitengewoon opsporingsambtenaren, special enforcement officers) — have worn bodycams since 2018, and this rollout extends that same function to conductors.
Why now?
In April 2024, a female conductor was beaten, kicked, and pushed down the stairs of a train by a group of youths. The attack prompted public transport across Amsterdam, Rotterdam, and The Hague to halt for three minutes in solidarity.
The incident was far from isolated: NS recorded over 1,000 instances of threats and assaults against train staff in 2023 alone.
The goal is for all 3,500 chief conductors to be equipped by the end of 2026. Each must first complete a one-day training course on when the cameras can legally be switched on.
In the meantime, other resources are available, too. If you’ve ever felt uneasy on a Dutch train, here’s how to get help via WhatsApp.
Do you think bodycams will make a difference on Dutch trains? Let us know in the comments below.
It’s that time of the year again. It’s one of the holidays the Netherlands is best known for. We celebrate our dying monarchy by congratulating our king and drinking ’til we drop.
To warm up to the Dutch partying ways, we share eight things you should know before King’s Day. 🇳🇱
1. King’s Day celebrates the ruling Dutch monarch
If you’ve just moved to the Netherlands, it’s good to know that this is a national holiday. This might be a strange concept to expats and internationals, but it means you most likely get the day off to sit in the sun, drink and be merry.
Thanks for being born, King Willem-Alexander! 👑 As suggested by the oh-so-subtle name, King’s Day is King Willem-Alexander’s birthday. It’s a bit of an adjustment for everyone since it used to be called Queen’s Day for decades.
Thanks for the day off, King Willy. Image: Depositphotos
Before that, we used to celebrate the birthday of the former queen and Willem-Alexander’s mother, Beatrix. But now she has retired, we’ve switched things up and put the onus on King’s Day.
After Queen Juliana’s rule, whose birthday was April 30, ended in 1980, Queen Beatrix decided to keep celebrations around that time of year. Coincidentally, April 27 is actually King Willem Alexander’s birthday. Gefeliciteerd!
Before Juliana’s rule, Queen’s Day was held on Queen Wilhelmina’s birthday on August 31, the holiday originating in her younger years when she was still a Princess.
The day was given the apt title: Princess’ Day. Looking at a photo of her from back in the day, it becomes clear why — who doesn’t want to throw that sexy little minx a party? 💃
2. You can celebrate King’s Day everywhere in the Netherlands
So you have something orange, you’ve been saving up your beer, and you’re ready to go all out on King’s Day.
We know there will be something happening everywhere in the country, but what events should be on your radar? Don’t worry; there are plenty of places you can check out!
It’s the biggest party of the year! Image: Depositphotos
Amsterdam is by far the most popular city to celebrate King’s Day — and it’s no surprise. Over a million visitors come to the city to haggle and drink beer.
No public transport, cars, or taxis are allowed in the city on that day, so a bike or a boat are your best friends. 🚤 Just remember, there are some important changes coming to Amsterdam’s celebrations this year.
People are having a blast on the canal in Amsterdam during King’s Day. Image: Pixabay
You can find plenty of street performances and music around different neighbourhoods, particularly the Jordaan and Amsterdam Zuid. Leidseplein, Rembrandtplein, and the Jordaan are a must-see if you’re into the party scenes. 🍾
Celebrating King’s Day in The Hague
Although smaller and less chaotic than Amsterdam, The Hague throws a lively celebration for King’s Day.
They celebrate Koningsnacht (King’s Night) the night before King’s Day with lots of drinking and music, especially with the free, open-air festival they host in the city centre. 🎊
You can also check out markets and parties around Statenkwartier and Noordeinde. The Hague also sets up a huge kermis (fair) in Malieveld with plenty of fun rides, attractions, and games to play. 🎠
Celebrating King’s Day in Rotterdam
Rotterdam is a little more subtle than the other cities. You can relax on a terrace far away from all the noise and chaos (or nearby if that’s your thing, too).
You can also check out plenty of markets and parties along Coolsingel, the Binnerotte, and Stadhuisplein.
Celebrating King’s Day in Utrecht
Utrecht is best known for its massive King’s Day flea market, which runs for 24 hours beginning on April 26. 🛍
You can catch kids’ markets (flea markets for children to sell their things) around Park Lepelenburg and Nijntje Pleintje, and even more partying around Domplein, Lucasbolwerk, Mariaplaats, Neude, and Jankerkshof.
3. The Dutch Royal family visit one lucky city each year
Since Beatrix started the tradition, the royals have gone out on the town and celebrated with “the people”. So you, too, can catch a glimpse of the King and Queen. 🤴🏼👸🏼
Every year, the royals go to a different region to show how connected they are to the commoner. They usually play silly games, enjoying old Dutch traditions involving clogs and swamp monster re-enactments (oh, how I’d wish that were true).
Since 2013, the day before King’s Day is a national sports day for kids! It’s called the ‘Koningsspelen’ (King’s games). Image: Depositphotos
They make small talk with the locals and do the rounds of kissing babies. 💋
Want to catch a glimpse of the royals this year? The royal family will visit Dokkum for King’s Day 2026. This will be the first time the royal family has celebrated King’s Day in Friesland in 18 years.
The whole town will be celebrating the event with live music and bands around the city, speeches, plenty of street parties, and house parties.
If you’re not feeling the loud parties, you can still enjoy a cup of tea or coffee on a terrace. ☕️
4. Dutchies have plenty of fun traditions
It isn’t King’s Day in the Netherlands without a special set of traditions. Dutchies will sell old belongings, music, and entertainment for a little extra cash! 💶
It’s such a popular thing to do, in fact, young children even take part in it too — many kids like to set up fun party games for people to play for a small fee. Spijkerpoepen, koekhappen, and tombola might sound like nonsense, but they’re very near and dear to the heart.
Nail poops?
Spijkerpoepen translates to nail poop, which should already point you to how wacky this game is. You tie a long piece of string around your waist, and dangling at the bottom of the string is a nail.
Your goal is to try to get the nail inside the tiny opening of a beer bottle or similar:
Seems easy enough, right? 😅
Snack central
If you’re into Dutch snacks, koekhappen is for you. Koekhappen translates into the very cute-sounding “biscuit bites”, and it means what you think it does with a little twist.
Someone hangs several pieces of Dutch cookies on a string. Players try to bite a piece of the cookie as quickly as possible with their hands tied behind their backs (and sometimes even blindfolded). The first person to pull the piece of cookie from the string wins the game!
It’s quite the wholesome and family-friendly game, if you ask us. 🍪
Dutchies’ version of bingo
And finally, you’ll probably find many Dutchies playing a game of tombola. A combination of a gift raffle and bingo, it’s a fun game to play to win presents. Especially if you want to sit down and relax during King’s Day. 😌
5. Flea markets dominate King’s Day
King’s Day is also known for the flea markets that descend upon most cities. The ban on free trade is lifted for this holiday. Days, and sometimes weeks, people mark their territory with crayons and tags in advance. 🖍
Curbs, sidewalks, bridges, every patch and centimetre becomes a potential reason for dispute and conflict. We wouldn’t be surprised if some people mark their territory like dogs (the streets certainly smell like it 🤧 ).
Want to get rid of some of your old junk? Put it on display, and you might sell some of it (obviously, depending on how crappy your stuff is).
Half of the Netherlands has fond childhood memories (and trauma) of saving up for that special toy by selling their old stuff during Kongingsdag.
This is also the day you can make some spare change by selling any unwanted items or just providing plain silly entertainment.
It doesn’t matter how, but you can make money. Drunks are easy targets. 🎯
Speaking of alcohol…
6. Drinking beer and passing out is one of the biggest attractions of King’s Day
The Netherlands loves its booze. After decades of smart marketing by Heineken, a product of national pride, we’re all hooked on the foamy, sweet nectar of the gods on King’s Day.
And oh, how we love it.
No beer glass is left full, no mind is left clear. If there’s ever a day to enjoy a drink, it’s this one.
It’s not just the day itself. The night before is half the fun. It’s usually as busy as King’s Day, minus the kids and families.
That means more opportunities to spill your beer, pee your pants, and slur your words. (Don’t we love drunk people?). 😁
7. Everything will be orange
For your safety and sanity, please, for the love of God, wear orange! Yes, the colour of Dutch pride is used for any occasion. Whether it’s the World Cup, the Olympics, or national holidays like Koningsdag.
Wear orange, and you confirm your place as a Dutchie. Whether you were born in the Netherlands or not, it doesn’t matter. Everyone is united in a sea of Orange. 🧡
It’s especially fun when you combine it by shouting some classic phrases at strangers like “Lang leve de Koning” (Long Live the King). Even shouting nonsense will create a ripple of shouting, laughter, and high-fives.
Plenty of brands use the Dutch love of the colour orange to their advantage.
To show their patriotic (highly corporate) streak, you’ll come across orange shaving razors, headphones, grills, Barbies, and lube — all to be purchased in the name of national pride. 🍊
Brands tap into our Dutch sense of belonging to exploit it to the full. And so, the cycle continues.
8. Drink a herstelbiertje to survive the festivities
Unfortunately, you still have to go to work the next day. Not to worry, have a herstelbiertje (recovery beer)! The English call it “hair of the dog”, and according to the Dutch, it’s the best way to get over your hangover in the morning. 😵💫
Just keep drinking so you can never be hungover, simple! And who in their right mind would argue with that? So ignore the desperate cries of your liver and go for that good old Dutch beer! The real breakfast of champions. 🍻
Well, that completes the King’s Day survival kit. Now, have a blast and let’s nostalgically commemorate a time when the monarchy still mattered within our tiny community!
What do you like best about King’s Day? Let us know in the comments.
Renting in a popular neighbourhood? Better save up. Minister Elanor Boekholt-O’Sullivan has new plans that would allow landlords to increase rent prices in major cities.
The housing minister has proposed changes to the Affordable Rent Act. Since its inception in 2024, the act has been responsible for reducing the rent for about 300,000 homes by at least €190.
Why does Boekholt-O’Sullivan want to undo the accomplishments of the Rutte cabinet?
Simply put, renting isn’t profitable anymore. (Yes, even at monthly rents as high as €2,200 in Amsterdam). The minister aims to lure private landlords back into a market they have been steadily exiting.
Although the parliament still needs to sign off, Boekholt-O’Sullivan expects the changes to take effect by January 1, 2027.
What exactly would change?
At the moment, the Affordable Housing Act grants points to a rental unit based on its energy rating, area, kitchen facilities, and so on. The quality of the accommodation then determines its rent.
First, if Boekholt-O’Sullivan gets her way, she would scrap the WOZ-cap safeguard. Homes with a high WOZ value (property tax valuation) would then be able to justify higher rents.
According to AD, this change alone could affect around 25,000 rental homes.
Second, the rent deduction applicable to homes without a balcony, garden, or outdoor area would be scrapped. Meaning, landlords no longer need to hold back on rental prices if their home has no outdoor space.
Third, owners of rijksmonumenten (nationally listed heritage buildings) would gain more flexibility to charge higher prices. This change could affect as many as 10,000 renters.
Meanwhile, landlords of newly renovated homes would be allowed to apply a 10% surcharge for longer than they currently can. If you rent a newly-done property, you have our sympathies.
Temporary contracts could make a comeback
The cabinet also wants to loosen the rules on temporary rental contracts, which were heavily restricted in recent years.
As opposed to an indefinite contract, a temporary one has a clear date of termination, usually within 24 months. This allows landlords to change rents, skirt permanent squatting, and kick out their tenants at their will.
The new proposal would make such temporary contracts possible again.
In the 19 largest student cities, private landlords own nearly half of all student accommodation: that’s almost 160,000 homes which could be affected.
To prevent landlords from selling up
However, it’s difficult to have affordable housing if there isn’t any housing at all.
Approximately 1.2 million homes in the Netherlands are owned by private landlords and investors as of 2025. If these parties continue selling their properties, the rental crisis might get worse.
Or at least, that’s the thought process of the new cabinet.
To sweeten the deal further, the government is also planning to cut the overdrachtsbelasting (transfer tax) for investors buying property with the intention of renting it out.
Are you worried about what these changes mean for your rent? Let us know in the comments below.
The Dutch cabinet has activated phase one of the Landelijk Crisisplan Olie (national oil crisis plan) — marking the first time the plan has ever been triggered.
According to RTL Nieuws, the action plan addresses both a temporary and long-term oil shortage in the Netherlands.
What does phase one actually mean?
The National Oil Crisis Plan has four phases.
Now active, phase one is called “alertering” (alert).
According to the Ministry of Economic Affairs and Climate, a dedicated team will now keep a close eye on fuel-intensive sectors such as transport and agriculture, while international stock levels come under tighter scrutiny.
The strategic oil reserve can be tapped if needed, and public communications will be stepped up: a copy of the plan is already accessible on Rijksoverheid.
For now, phase one will have no direct consequences for citizens. That may only come during later phases.
Phase two is an “early warning” that prioritises fuel for certain users; phase three is “alarm,” at which point a state of emergency can be declared; and phase four is an outright oil crisis.
What does an oil crisis look like?
The plan’s later phases give a sense of what could follow if the Hormuz situation worsens.
According to NOS, possible measures include banning home delivery services (think Bol.com, Amazon, Uber Eats, etc.), driving at 80 km/h on the motorway, and car-free Sundays.
The European Commission also advises companies to establish at least one fixed day for working from home.
The crisis plan also lays out the possibility of banning the Netherlands from exporting fossil fuels to Germany, Belgium, France, and the UK.
Meanwhile, under the Availability of Goods Act of 1952, factories that consume larger amounts of fuel could be on the receiving end of a production ban.
At the moment, there are no shortages and no restrictions. But the government is clearly signalling that it’s not taking any chances.
Why now?
The Strait of Hormuz, the narrow waterway through which 20% of the world’s oil exports pass, has reportedly been blocked again.
On Saturday, more than 20 ships passed through, according to news agency Reuters. This was the highest number of ships travelling through the strait since March 1.
That didn’t last.
Over the weekend, the US and Iran each accused the other of violating a ceasefire by attacking ships. An Iranian-flagged cargo ship was allegedly breaching the American blockade on the Strait of Hormuz: an American attack and Iranian retaliation ensued.
Oil prices are surging again by more than 6%, with prices in the Netherlands shooting up to €2.75 on the litre.
Have soaring fuel prices affected your daily life in the Netherlands? Let us know in the comments below.
More than half of young Dutch adults don’t want children, and many aren’t sure they ever will.
That’s the finding from a new RTL survey. The poll, conducted among over 19,000 panel members in February 2026, found that 53% of 18 to 35-year-olds either have no desire for children or remain undecided.
These findings are reflected in maternity wards. The Netherlands’ birth rate has dropped from an average of 1.8 children per woman in 2010 to just 1.4 in 2024, according to RTL Nieuws.
And the reasons behind this stance say a lot about life in the Netherlands right now.
Why don’t young people want children?
Respondents point to a mix of factors: no natural pull towards parenthood, worries about climate change, health problems, and the absence of a stable partner.
But what does this mean for society in the future?
Some experts fear consequences will be severe
Economist Jona van Loenen warns that the consequences of this drop could hit us hard. At the current pace, he says, the Dutch population could halve within 75 years.
The worker-to-retiree ratio, once seven to one, could fall as low as two to one, piling pressure on healthcare and the broader economy simultaneously.
Others aren’t so worried
Not everyone sees it as a disaster, though. Economist Jan-Pieter Peijs calls population decline “a blessing”, given that the world is already heading towards 11 billion people.
A smaller Dutch population, he argues, would ease pressure on housing, infrastructure, and climate targets.
Van Loenen doesn’t dismiss those points, but stresses that the pace is the real problem. A gradual decline is manageable; the current speed, he warns, is the problem. “Society can’t keep up with this pace”, he tells RTL Nieuws.
So what’s the solution?
Both economists land in the same place: immigration.
More migrants could ease labour shortages and offset rising pension costs, though Van Loenen acknowledges that opens up an entirely separate debate in the current political climate.
Do you want children in the Netherlands, or has the housing market put you off? Let us know in the comments below.
Looking for something quirky and unforgettable to do in Amsterdam this week? Head straight to De Poezenboot — The Catboat! 🐈⬛⛵
This one-of-a-kind floating sanctuary is exactly what it sounds like: a boat full of cats chilling right on the canals of Amsterdam.
It’s purr-fect for animal lovers, curious travellers, and anyone who wants to meet a furry friend or two while enjoying the city’s charm. 🐾💕
A bit of history 🐾
Believe it or not, The Catboat has been floating since 1968! 🚢 💛 Founded by cat lover, Ms Van Weelde, this floating refuge has been a safe space for hundreds of felines over the years.
And although cats and water aren’t exactly besties, many have happily traded their fear of water for warm beds, belly rubs, and a second chance at life.
What can you do there?
Pet the cats, of course! Many of these feline residents are rescues — once strays or abandoned, now lounging like royalty on a boat.
Visitors are welcome to hang out, cuddle a cat or two, and soak in the peaceful vibes. 🐾
However, The Catboat is first and foremost an animal sanctuary. This means that some of the cats are up for adoption if you’re ready to give one a forever home.
But if adopting feels like too much right now and you still want to help, you can also support them financially — every little bit goes towards food, care, and vet bills. 💛
Behind the scenes, the dedicated staff work hard to catch strays and offer neutering services to pet owners who can’t afford it, making a real difference for cats all over Amsterdam. 😺
Nope! Entry is completely free, but donations are greatly appreciated. Every euro goes towards food, medical care, and cosy blankets for the kitties. 🧶🐾
The Catboat is open to visitors three days a week, and spots are limited — only 6 people at a time are allowed onboard to keep things calm for the cats. 🧘♀️
🗓 When can I visit? Visiting hours are from 13:00 to 15:00 on Tuesday, Friday and Saturday. You may have to wait if there are too many people onboard.
📍 Where can I find it? You’ll spot this cosy cat haven at Singel 38 G, 1015 AB Amsterdam, nestled among the beautiful canals in the heart of the city. Just follow the meows. 😺
So if you’re wandering the streets of Amsterdam and hear a soft meow echoing across the canal, follow the sound. The Catboat is waiting. 😻
Will you visit De Poezenboot? Don’t forget your camera — and maybe a lint roller. 📸🧥🐾
Imagine you’re at a bar sipping biertjesat an intimate gathering with friends, minding your own business. Still, the ear-splitting elephant in the room has gone unaddressed: Dutch music.
That’s right, people shakily sing in Dutch along to the notes of a tone-deaf melody, while thunderous music accompanies them. On purpose. Sometimes in front of crowds of people.
Without further ado, join us as we smile, weep, cover our ears, or wince our way through the key features of the, let’s say, niche phenomenon that is Dutch music.
Why must the volume be cranked up til our ears bleed?
Ever been to a concert, music event, or bar — or even a department store in some cases — where they blast Spotify’s deafening “Top 50 Songs in the Netherlands” playlist?
Nee?Goed. Even if you don’t keel over in pain at the insane volume levels right away (which many of us do), you may find that you wake up the next day with a high-pitched ringing sound deep inside your tympanic membrane.
Except it’s not a mosquito in your room this time.
Instead, it’s our old friend tinnitus — a sign of permanent hearing damage.
That’s right, Dutch music volumes can be heard from several cities away, which leaves us sleep-deprived, in physical pain, and maddened. 🤪
I slept for about 6 hours 'cause I woke up to a nearby school playing Dutch trance music with the volume at max.
In 2016, the Amsterdam Medical Centre found that one in four Dutch people between the ages of 12 and 25 was suffering from hearing loss on some level.
The culprit? You guessed it. Prolonged periods spent listening to the ear-assault that is Dutch club music, as well as headphones and “portable music players”.
This may explain why many Dutch people shamelessly wear earplugs at festivals or concerts, without sacrificing any “street cred” in the process.
To be fair, it’s not considered as uncool as in other countries where volume levels are comparatively mild and mellow.
Casually uncensored, super explicit lyrics
Dutch music artists and DJs really don’t hold back when it comes to the volume knob, or… the lyrics.
Maybe it’s because of that infamous Dutch directness, but Dutch song lyrics aren’t prone to subtlety, euphemisms or beating around the bush.
In fact, they tend to just go straight for the jugular. 🤬
Again, this is a headphone warning, but also a disclaimer to not play this song out loud, especially while a dear Dutch oma (grandma) is in earshot — although, hey, maybe she’ll love it.
Perhaps it’s good that not all of us can understand it. What we do know is that this type of distinctly Dutch vulgarity makes every other English-speaking rapper seem like an uptight vicar by comparison. 😵💫
The obstruction of judgment that is (trash) techno music
Take EDM or techno — a musical genre characterised by its synthesisers and drum machines — combine it with the Dutch flair for eardrum-bursting volumes, and voila: you have my personal nightmare. 🙂
Exhibit A: consider this YouTube snippet down below…
(This is your headphone warning ahead of time.)
I mean, who could the core demographic of this…monstrosity, this music that gives you the wrong kind of goosebumps, possibly be?
As it turns out, all the 50,000 attendees present — most of whom presumably did book tickets by choice.
At least there’s a silent disco after-party on Friday and Saturday to recuperate 🤷♀️.
These types of tasteless beats might be largely wordless, but we can sure as hell tell they’re Dutch since the Netherlands relishes festivals with “harder styles”.
Dutch indie music — it’s a thing, and it’s emotionally abusive
Want to avoid falling down the stairs, collapsing at the office, and curling up, sobbing, into a self-pitying foetal position?
Well, then, heed this advice: steer clear of Dutch indie music.
Those direct Dutch lyrics, croaky guttural sounds, and harsh consonants somehow make for an even more brutal, grungey take on the genre you thought was hard-hitting enough in English.
These tunes will strike a nerve in you that you didn’t know you had, get you right in your feels, and drive you into an existential soul-search, as you stare up at the ceiling while lying on your bedroom floor.
Never has anyone been so candid about the trials and tribulations of “de Schevenings leven” (Scheveningen life):
Who says the breakdown can’t be taken to the dancefloor?
Despite tackling subject matter like drug addiction, poverty, break-ups, and the football team Ajax, Dutch indie artists somehow manage to turn out gems that are upbeat to the point of being danceable.
As you find yourself jumping up and down to the indie classics while strobe lighting washes over you, you’ll just have to embrace that crying-in-the-club aesthetic fully.
It’s an emotional rollercoaster, and we just have to ask the Dutch — why? 😭
Expect to have it on replay in your head for at least another 48 hours. You’ll be left with fewer friends and family afterwards (because they just don’t get it, okay?)
Questionable Dutch remakes of English classics
In all fairness, why shouldn’t Dutchies have the right to belt out their favourite tunes in their native language? After all, it’s a privilege all English speakers are spoiled by.
It’s not their fault that they can’t claim Justin Bieber, Adele, or any other world-famous pop star as a Dutch national.
Instead, the British Empire out-colonising the Dutch in the 17th century is to blame for the fact that Ed Sheeran’s soppy English crooning makes for more of a universal hit song than, say, the Dutch tour de force, Drank en Drugs.
Okay yes, it is catchy. Image: Freepik
If either genuine or morbid curiosity compels you to listen to Dutch remakes of all the catchiest songs from the last decade (remember when Avicii was a thing), do check out this playlist.
Granted, Dutchies are probably more prone to dancing or crying to them than internationals, but some of them are… kinda good?
Some are even, dare we say, better than the original at points (we’re sorry, Harry Styles, if by some miraculous stroke of luck, you’re reading this, we love you).
Like any country’s musical body of work, Dutch songs are multifaceted.
Some will have you in the throes of existential doom, some make for excellent angry workout music, while some Dutch music is best kept within the confines of a shower stall. 👀
Did these song samples leave you pleasantly surprised or give you the wrong kind of musical goosebumps? Let us know in the comments below!
