Before you move to a new country, the Netherlands or otherwise, you are sure to be showered with tips, tricks, anecdotes, recommendations, and more than a few warnings.
When I announced I was moving to the Netherlands, it went a little something like this:
- “That’ll be lovely — all the tulips, the windmills…”
- “Don’t smoke anything.” Or the alternative, “smoke everything!”
- “Be careful out there, keep your wits about you! You know it’s a land of vice and sin!” — my dad would say in a half-joking, half-serious voice.
- “Watch out for the canals; many fools have fallen right in.”
- “Maybe you’ll get to sail along the canals on a boat?“
Needless to say, not all of these comments were correct, relevant, or necessary. I saw two windmills in my first months, not a single tulip, and I have yet to be invited onto a boat. 💁
Moreover, my host of advisors managed to leave out some key aspects of life on this sinking land.
1. The Netherlands is actually a kingdom
The Kingdom of the Netherlands is the official title given to the sovereign state of the Netherlands, Aruba, Curaçao, and Sint Maarten by King Willem-Alexander.
Dutch king, I mean, who knew? Likely a great number of people, yet I was not one of them. 🤓
The king and his family reside in the Huis ten Bosch Palace in The Hague. He is mostly a figurehead, but he is celebrated in true Dutch style* every April 27 on King’s Day.
*With lots of orange, alcohol, and parties.
2. There are checkpoints for bike lights
The politie occasionally set up checkpoints to ensure all bikes have working lights. And I mean, it’s a big deal.
It begins with the circulation of the “Brace Yourselves Checkpoints Are Coming” message, usually by your friends via WhatsApp. 🤳
READ MORE | 7 things that will get you fined while cycling in the Netherlands
The next step is to buy some lights, as yours are, without a doubt, broken, out of battery, or non-existent. Run to SoLow, Kruidvat, HEMA, or Action only to find empty shelves where bike lights should be.
But fear not; even without lights, you can survive the checkpoint. You can, of course, avoid the suspect streets. But if that’s not an option, you have two more choices:
- When you know the checkpoint is coming, hop off your bike and walk. Easy as pie!
- If worst comes to the worst, throw yourself — bike and all — to the ground. In the chaos that follows, maybe, just maybe, your lack of lights will be forgotten.
3. Red light districts are everywhere
Red light districts are not unique to Amsterdam. Who knew? Again, not me.
Until I took a wrong turn down an unknown street and learned that Groningen, too, has its fair share of window prostitution.
4. Visa and Mastercard? Nope
Visa and Mastercard are largely not accepted here.
Why in the world not? I’m still reeling from the embarrassment and confusion I experienced during my first several visits to Albert Heijn (a Dutch supermarket).
Although no card means no drunken contactloos pinnen (contactless payments). And believe me, THAT is a good thing. 🥴
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But good news! The Dutch are finally starting to see the plus side of accepting and offering more debit and credit card services.
For example, many Dutch bank cards are now being switched to debit cards, which means these cards will become more widely accepted.
5. Dutch staircases are hella steep
The rest of the world refers to them as ladders. But here’s an image of how narrow and steep they usually are in the Netherlands.
How more folks have not fallen and snapped their necks, I do not know! 😳
6. It’s not a party without balloons
Mention the word “Netherlands” anywhere outside of the Netherlands, and those around you will say one or all of the following: “weed!” “marijuana,” “roll a joint,” “420,” or “blaze it.”
And sure, that’s all cool, but do you know what’s cooler? Balloons.
Not just any balloons, but balloons filled with nitrous oxide. Or, as it is more commonly known, lachgas (laughing gas).
The gas is a depressant-type drug that slows down the brain, leading to feelings of euphoria, difficulty in thinking straight, and fits of uncontrollable laughter.
In short, it gives you one heck of a high, even if it lasts only for a few short minutes.
You’ll often see lads with a canister, doing laughing gas straight on the street. While the government has banned the sale of laughing gas at clubs and pubs, this trend isn’t going away anytime soon.
7. The Dutch are a little cat crazy
The Dutch are cat people. Almost as much as they are bike people. Okay, maybe that’s an exaggeration, but truly, there are a lot of cats here.
Even the University of Groningen has its own cat — Professor Doerak, and yes, he has an Instagram fanbase.
8. People at home will only ask, “So, how’s life in Amsterdam then?“
When you tell people you are living in the Netherlands for the first time, you will likely share with them the name of the city you will be living in.
Let me tell you now, however, that you really shouldn’t have bothered. They will continue to assume you live in Amsterdam or, at best, that you live very close to Amsterdam.
9. You may just end up loving those Dutchies
Anyone can tell you that the Dutch are direct, blunt, and cut straight to the point.
But few told me about how nice Dutch people are! Waiters and shop assistants are always super friendly and make an effort to chat with customers.
Every time the chain has fallen off my bike (many, many times), someone was always willing to help me or offer me a tissue for my oil-stained hands.
READ MORE | 6 things to know about dating Dutch people
It warms your heart, which is great considering how cold it can be here. 🤗
10. Dutch food is… different
Before moving to the Netherlands, I didn’t have the slightest idea of what Dutch cuisine could possibly be like. I expected a blend of European cuisines, featuring things like Schnitzels, sausages, baguettes, and so on.
I guess, in some ways, I wasn’t too far off — but nothing could have prepared me for the culture shock I had when I first found out about bitterballen.
And there is so much more where that comes from: frikandelbroodjes, kapsalon, haring, stampot — so many strange foods I had never even heard about!
READ MORE | 7 Dutch foods you need to try before you die
But hey, don’t knock it till you try it! Who knows? Maybe you’ll love them all. 😋
11. The wind will blow your socks off — literally
It makes sense that a flat, coastal country like the Netherlands gets some rough winds, right? Right, but I wasn’t really prepared for the sheer strength of them.
Will there be times when it feels like you can’t breathe because so much wind is flying into your face? Definitely.
Will pedalling your bike through it feel like the toughest workout you’ve ever done? Absolutely.
But will it make you feel alive? Hell yeah! 🌬️
What have you found surprising since living in the Netherlands? Tell us in the comments below!
